The Locomotive of Train is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Casey Jones with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, soft-spoken computers, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 26.579 billion engineers are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the City of New Orleans. The average income tax rate is 67.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient railway economy, worth a remarkable 4,200 trillion tracks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 158,047 tracks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Scientists are not permitted to ask questions, Dogman-branded weapons are all the rage in the militaristic comic-book community, the army insists there is nothing gay about men in uniforms rolling in the mud, and imitation is the sincerest form of felony. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Train's national animal is the iron horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Unstoppable.

Train is ranked 17,944^th in the world and 11^th in Seinfeld for Lowest Crime Rates, with 91.46 law-abiding acts per hour.