The Island of Tristan da Cunha is a gargantuan, orderly nation, renowned for its pith helmet sales, public floggings, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.649 billion Tristan da Cunhans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Industry, Administration, and Education are also considered important, while International Aid isn't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 58.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Tristan da Cunhan economy, worth a remarkable 2,136 trillion qergs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Retail, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 145,816 qergs, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 445,438 per year while the poor average 36,998, a ratio of 12.0 to 1.

The only Maxxmas gift frontline troops receive from officers is a bullet with the enemy's name on it, ersatz chicken has left the nation's citizens with a bad taste in their mouths, the working classes live and die on the fields of the farming communes, and military advisors frequently remind San Vitenzan farmers that they have to pull the pin on a grenade before throwing it. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tristan da Cunha's national animal is the erg, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Tristan da Cunha is ranked 61,441^st in the world and 3,499^th in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 71.49 law-abiding acts per hour.