by Max Barry

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The Sylvan Hive of Turbeaux

“Not only does God play dice, the dice are loaded.” Chairman Sheng-ji Yang

Category: Civil Rights Lovefest
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Duckspeaker

Location: Forest



Population6.542 billion

LeaderChairman Sheng-ji Yang
FaithQuantum Mechanics

Animalmind worm

The Sylvan Hive of Turbeaux is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Chairman Sheng-ji Yang with a fair hand, and renowned for its national health service, keen interest in outer space, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 6.542 billion Transhumans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, corrupt, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nacelle. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Sylvan economy, worth a remarkable 2,629 trillion turbines a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Book Publishing, Soda Sales, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 401,901 turbines, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation is so apathetic that Transhumans can barely find the energy to bring new issues to the government, young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables, the long arm of the law possesses a rather slow hand, and frat-house partying has become the national pastime. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Turbeaux's national animal is the mind worm, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Quantum Mechanics.

Turbeaux is ranked 72nd in the world and 2nd in Forest for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 10,392.73 on the Clooney Contribution Index.

Most Advanced Public Education: 62ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 72ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 86thMost Valuable International Artwork: 148thRudest Citizens: 167thMost Inclusive: 197thLargest Welfare Programs: 198thMost Rebellious Youth: 240thHighest Crime Rates: 246thHighest Poor Incomes: 288thLargest Information Technology Sector: 303rdMost Subsidized Industry: 364thMost Beautiful Environments: 399thMost Armed: 400thMost Influential: 459thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 473rdLargest Soda Pop Sector: 507thLargest Black Market: 597thHighest Average Incomes: 752ndFattest Citizens: 764thHighest Average Tax Rates: 851stLargest Governments: 900thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,087thNicest Citizens: 1,163rdMost Compassionate Citizens: 1,177thMost Efficient Economies: 1,208thMost Secular: 1,220thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,257thMost Cultured: 1,270thSmartest Citizens: 1,350thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,365thMost Cheerful Citizens: 1,613thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,626thBest Weather: 1,915thMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,971stHighest Drug Use: 2,061stTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2,800thNudest: 4,446thHighest Economic Output: 5,330thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,373rdLargest Retail Industry: 8,497thMost Corrupt Governments: 10,791stMost Pacifist: 11,047thTop
Most Politically Free: 14,791stMost Extensive Civil Rights: 17,207thMost Stationary: 17,656thLargest Gambling Industry: 22,626th
Most Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 2nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2nd in the regionMost Inclusive: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 3rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 4th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 4th in the regionTop
Most Influential: 5th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 5th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5th in the regionMost Politically Free: 5th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 6th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 7th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 7th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 7th in the regionFattest Citizens: 8th in the regionMost Armed: 8th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 8th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 8th in the regionLargest Governments: 11th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 12th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 13th in the regionNudest: 13th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 13th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 14th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 14th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 15th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 17th in the regionMost Cultured: 17th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 21st in the regionMost Secular: 22nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 23rd in the regionTop
Highest Economic Output: 25th in the regionNicest Citizens: 26th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 29th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 30th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 34th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 36th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 37th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 37th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Turbeaux, frat-house partying has become the national pastime.
  • : Following new legislation in Turbeaux, the long arm of the law possesses a rather slow hand.
  • : Following new legislation in Turbeaux, young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables.
  • : Turbeaux lodged a message on the Forest Regional Message Board.
  • : Following new legislation in Turbeaux, the nation is so apathetic that Transhumans can barely find the energy to bring new issues to the government.
  • : Following new legislation in Turbeaux, bus ads propagandize causes ranging from sexual revolution to religious pogroms.
  • : Turbeaux endorsed The Burning Trash Fire of Lord Dominator.
  • : Following new legislation in Turbeaux, a faint smell of body odour can be detected at several miles' distance from the National Science Park.
  • : Following new legislation in Turbeaux, children are raised bilingual from an early age.
  • : Turbeaux was endorsed by The Burning Trash Fire of Lord Dominator.


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