by Max Barry

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The Archbishopric of Twente

“Begin en eand doot mekaar de hand”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: Europe

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Twente

Population39.022 billion

CapitalEanske
LeaderArchbishop Gerhardus Janman
FaithSaxon Catholicism

CurrencyMark
AnimalSteed

The Archbishopric of Twente is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Archbishop Gerhardus Janman with an iron fist, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, sprawling nuclear power plants, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 39.022 billion Tubantians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Spirituality and Education are also considered important, while Environment isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eanske. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Tubantian economy, worth an astonishing 23,609 trillion Marks a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 605,036 Marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Hundreds of subterranean tunnels are being built as part of "Project Morlock", graffiti artists spend lengthy periods of time in jail, prisoners due for execution often use their final statement to complain about soggy bread rolls, and a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Twente's national animal is the Steed, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Saxon Catholicism.

Twente is ranked 216,329th in the world and 1,104th in Europe for Most Politically Free, scoring 13.29 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.

Top
1%
Largest Mining Sector: 17thLargest Black Market: 18thHighest Economic Output: 47thMost Devout: 61stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 80thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 80thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 109thMost Advanced Public Transport: 130thHighest Average Incomes: 145thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 145thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 170thLargest Populations: 178thHighest Poor Incomes: 187thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 222ndLargest Cheese Export Sector: 226thLowest Crime Rates: 282ndLargest Governments: 309thMost Corrupt Governments: 454thLargest Insurance Industry: 524thMost Avoided: 587thHighest Average Tax Rates: 606thMost Armed: 639thMost Primitive: 645thMost Stationary: 913thLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,567thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,774thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,897thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,111thTop
5%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 3,200thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,418thMost Developed: 3,830thMost Efficient Economies: 4,198thMost Advanced Public Education: 4,385thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,408thLargest Welfare Programs: 5,761stLongest Average Lifespans: 5,785thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5,918thMost Influential: 7,380thMost Conservative: 9,133rdMost Authoritarian: 9,861stSmartest Citizens: 11,327thTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 20,706th
Top
1%
Highest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Devout: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 2nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Armed: 3rd in the regionMost Stationary: 5th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 5th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 5th in the regionLargest Governments: 6th in the regionMost Avoided: 7th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 8th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 8th in the regionMost Primitive: 10th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 12th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 15th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 16th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 17th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 21st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 35th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 40th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 47th in the regionMost Conservative: 49th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 50th in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Education: 66th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 71st in the regionMost Developed: 71st in the regionMost Extreme: 78th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 88th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 89th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 107th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Twente, a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, prisoners due for execution often use their final statement to complain about soggy bread rolls.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, graffiti artists spend lengthy periods of time in jail.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, hundreds of subterranean tunnels are being built as part of "Project Morlock".
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, work creation schemes keep the masses occupied with meaningless tasks.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, the new Grand Inquisitor of Righteous Scientific Inquiry has ordered a surprising amount of hemlock.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, vacationing Tubantians expect to be treated as royalty.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, scenic mountain valleys are flooded with water as damming projects get underway.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, a baby's first breath is also a baby's first felony.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, it's widely agreed that to tennis players love means nothing.

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