by Max Barry

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The Archbishopric of Twente

“Godzoaligheaid en Wittekeend” Archbishop Gerhardus Janman

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: Europe

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Twente

Population37.793 billion

CapitalEanske
LeaderArchbishop Gerhardus Janman
FaithSaxon Catholicism

CurrencyMark
AnimalSteed

The Archbishopric of Twente is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Archbishop Gerhardus Janman with an iron fist, and remarkable for its national health service, triple-decker prams, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 37.793 billion Tubantians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Spirituality and Education are also considered important, while Environment is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eanske. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Tubantian economy, worth an astonishing 21,248 trillion Marks a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 562,222 Marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Asking a cutie their star sign is always met with withering scorn, professional athletes can't see balls amid the deluge of advertisements, the military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks", and the number of students attending university has reached a record high. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Twente's national animal is the Steed, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Saxon Catholicism.

Twente is ranked 206,782nd in the world and 1,167th in Europe for Highest Crime Rates, with 1.18 Crimes Per Hour.

Top
1%
Largest Mining Sector: 21stLargest Black Market: 36thHighest Economic Output: 59thMost Devout: 60thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 87thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 102ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 135thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 152ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 167thHighest Average Incomes: 181stLargest Populations: 189thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 204thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 257thHighest Poor Incomes: 269thLowest Crime Rates: 277thLargest Governments: 277thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 292ndMost Primitive: 504thMost Corrupt Governments: 518thHighest Average Tax Rates: 532ndMost Avoided: 590thLargest Insurance Industry: 639thMost Armed: 645thMost Stationary: 956thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,800thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,848thLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,986thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,060thTop
5%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 3,337thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,341stMost Efficient Economies: 3,446thMost Developed: 3,518thMost Advanced Public Education: 4,483rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,168thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6,014thLargest Welfare Programs: 6,024thMost Conservative: 6,537thLongest Average Lifespans: 6,861stMost Influential: 7,435thMost Authoritarian: 7,697thSmartest Citizens: 10,340th
Top
1%
Largest Populations: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionMost Devout: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 3rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 4th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 4th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 4th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 5th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 5th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionMost Stationary: 6th in the regionMost Armed: 6th in the regionLargest Governments: 6th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 7th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 8th in the regionMost Primitive: 9th in the regionMost Avoided: 11th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Insurance Industry: 12th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 13th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 18th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 20th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 21st in the regionMost Conservative: 26th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 26th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 32nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 38th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 44th in the regionMost Extreme: 48th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 53rd in the regionTop
10%
Largest Welfare Programs: 68th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 69th in the regionMost Developed: 71st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 79th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 87th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 117th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Twente was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Smartest Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, the number of students attending university has reached a record high.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, the military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks".
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, professional athletes can't see balls amid the deluge of advertisements.
  • : Twente was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Highest Wealthy Incomes.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, asking a cutie their star sign is always met with withering scorn.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, homes have been banned from having any more than one wheel.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, major cities shut down as their local sports team takes to the field every day.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, the nation's orphanages and maternity wards have been nicknamed 'the Killbot Factories'.
  • : Following new legislation in Twente, the nation frequently scolds its subject territories for staying up past bedtime.

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