The Kingdom of Tzenich is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by High King Dimas XIV Ualdu with a fair hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, infamous sell-swords, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, democratic, humorless population of 18.116 billion Tzenichians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, corrupt government prioritizes Law & Order, with Industry, Education, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Public Transport and Welfare receive no funds. The average income tax rate is 71.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Tzenichian economy, worth a remarkable 1,427 trillion Tzils a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 78,770 Tzils, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation has opened its arms to an influx of refugees, the best way to be heard in politics is to speak softly and carry a big comedy prop, the government runs a surplus by selling its citizens, and criminals are put to death while cuddling their favourite teddy bear. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tzenich's national animal is the great blue heron, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Tzenich is ranked 48,132^nd in the world and 14^th in Gypsy Lands for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 5,279.56 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.