The United Socialists Republics of Ulborg is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Supreme Commissioner Ruslan Nurlanov with an iron fist, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, stringent health and safety legislation, and labour-free parental leave. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 9.004 billion Ulberians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order and Education also on the agenda, while International Aid receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Qazaran. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient ulberian economy, worth a remarkable 4,909 trillion axnis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 545,240 axnis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sociologists ponder how baby-napped ethnic minority 'runaways' could have gone so bad so soon, all work and no play has rendered the nation's children somewhat intelligent but also remarkably dull, work creation schemes keep the masses occupied with meaningless tasks, and captains must wait until all rats are safe before jumping ship. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ulborg's national animal is the leopard, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is State atheism.

Ulborg is ranked 311,099^th in the world and 9^th in Calme Ybovien for Most Primitive, scoring -506.07 on the Scary Big Number Scale.