The United Socialist States of Ump409 is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, public floggings, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 4.689 billion Ump409ians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 61.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ump409ian economy, worth 938 trillion Pesos a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 200,230 Pesos, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Heavily-laden pregnant women are told they can manage, people who get diabetes can sue donut manufacturers, the Ump409 City Prison Revue puts on a better stage show than anything in the Theatre District, and airplane passengers have been known to stuff pillows in their jackets to get extra arm room. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ump409's national animal is the Tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Ump409 is ranked 12,789^th in the world and 789^th in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 96.81 law-abiding acts per hour.