by Max Barry

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The Pink Kingdom of Uncuteatoo

“Not Cute Wafflekit rule the world” Wafflekit

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: Social Technocratic Union



Population2.352 billion

FaithSacc Mylk


The Pink Kingdom of Uncuteatoo is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Wafflekit with an iron fist, and notable for its fear of technology, keen interest in outer space, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical population of 2.352 billion Uncuteatooans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Blueberry. The average income tax rate is 80.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Uncuteatooan economy, worth 120 trillion Ostriches a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, highly specialized black market in Basket Weaving, Book Publishing, Gambling, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 51,073 Ostriches, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nephews and nieces of the monarch resort to begging from relatives in palace halls, the government has little issue with allowing its citizens to languish in foreign jails, sales of disinfectant wipes have skyrocketed, and RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Uncuteatoo's national animal is the Octopus, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Sacc Mylk.

Uncuteatoo is ranked 216,034th in the world and 140th in Social Technocratic Union for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 10,112.48 Standard Monetary Units.

Most Primitive: 4,550thMost Valuable International Artwork: 5,344thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 9,196thBest Weather: 9,590thMost Pacifist: 11,551stTop
Most Beautiful Environments: 12,485thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 13,572ndHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 13,743rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 13,753rdMost Compassionate Citizens: 14,567thMost Inclusive: 15,108thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 15,311thHighest Average Tax Rates: 15,319thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 16,215thHealthiest Citizens: 17,909thNicest Citizens: 18,375thMost Advanced Public Education: 18,885thLongest Average Lifespans: 18,925thMost Income Equality: 19,041stMost Secular: 21,689thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 22,125thMost Cultured: 22,427thLargest Welfare Programs: 23,911th
Most Primitive: 1st in the regionTop
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Stationary: 4th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 5th in the regionTop
Largest Black Market: 11th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 12th in the regionMost Income Equality: 13th in the regionLargest Populations: 14th in the regionBest Weather: 15th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 10 » Apellidor, Anjayani, Vierslan, Fellwieg, Stratoss, Kharvilia, Ritanstan, Dune-Aemiliana, The Vanguard Fleet, and Andeva.

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