by Max Barry

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The Free Land of United Canara

“Ad-space available! only 49'999$ daily!” Lucius

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: Terra Pro Redditu

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

United Canara

Population13.204 billion

CapitalHelliosis
LeaderLucius
FaithDemonology

CurrencySkull
AnimalBrachiosaurus

The Free Land of United Canara is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Lucius with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and feral children. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 13.204 billion Canarans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Helliosis. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Canaran economy, worth a remarkable 5,285 trillion Skulls a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 400,320 Skulls, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,540,930 per year while the poor average 26,156, a ratio of 97.1 to 1.

Tourists flock to see the giant stone carvings of historical leaders at Mount Rushless, record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been reported, a significant number of Brachiosauruses are being prosecuted on charges of child abuse, and bombs are permitted on planes for the 'security of the passengers'. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. United Canara's national animal is the Brachiosaurus, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Demonology.

United Canara is ranked 314,075th in the world and 1st in Terra Pro Redditu for Most Primitive, scoring -746.7 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Top
1%
Most Armed: 47thHighest Crime Rates: 61stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 88thMost Avoided: 99thFattest Citizens: 112thRudest Citizens: 121stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 140thLargest Gambling Industry: 230thHighest Disposable Incomes: 274thMost Valuable International Artwork: 447thLargest Retail Industry: 451stMost Efficient Economies: 469thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 471stLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 480thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 524thMost Rebellious Youth: 625thMost Corrupt Governments: 677thHighest Average Incomes: 1,237thLargest Mining Sector: 1,249thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,493rdHighest Drug Use: 1,715thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,987thMost Scientifically Advanced: 2,149thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,232ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,417thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,572ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,005thTop
5%
Highest Economic Output: 3,218thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,534thMost Patriotic: 3,626thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,031stLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,854thLargest Governments: 6,031stLargest Agricultural Sector: 7,787thMost Secular: 8,439thMost Stationary: 11,544thMost Influential: 12,028thNudest: 15,220thTop
10%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 26,202ndMost Pro-Market: 31,083rd

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in United Canara, bombs are permitted on planes for the 'security of the passengers'.
  • : Following new legislation in United Canara, a significant number of Brachiosauruses are being prosecuted on charges of child abuse.
  • : Following new legislation in United Canara, record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been reported.
  • : Following new legislation in United Canara, tourists flock to see the giant stone carvings of historical leaders at Mount Rushless.
  • : Following new legislation in United Canara, most academic research has ground to a halt.
  • : Following new legislation in United Canara, the government offers gay men mildly offensive tips on how to pass as straight.
  • : Following new legislation in United Canara, peace talks occasionally rack up a higher body count than the wars they seek to stop.
  • : Following new legislation in United Canara, Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to United Canara as a reminder of their "special relationship".
  • : Following new legislation in United Canara, increasing numbers of children in United Canara have different eye and hair color to their supposed fathers.
  • : Following new legislation in United Canara, wood-framed catapults are ready to launch diseased corpses into besieged cities.

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