by Max Barry

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The Free Land of United Phoenicia

“Candles that burn twice as bright, burn half as long.”

Category: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Excellent

Regional Influence: Dominator

Location: Subreality

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

United Phoenicia

Population35.838 billion

CapitalBabylon
LeaderLeader

Currencyquatluu
Animalphoenix

The Free Land of United Phoenicia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, free-roaming dinosaurs, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 35.838 billion United Phoenicians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government prioritizes Education, with Social Policy, Healthcare, and Defense also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Babylon. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient United Phoenician economy, worth a remarkable 9,932 trillion quatluus a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 277,153 quatluus, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Years of counter-terrorism planning are foiled by small details, police struggle to solve crimes due to the lack of fingerprint records, popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs, and whipping posts and lashes have been transferred to the Historical Museum of United Phoenician Embarrassments. Crime is totally unknown. United Phoenicia's national animal is the phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

United Phoenicia is ranked 160,872nd in the world and 5th in Subreality for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -68.28 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.

Top
1%
Most Cheerful Citizens: 8thMost Advanced Public Education: 46thNicest Citizens: 46thLargest Publishing Industry: 51stLargest Populations: 59thMost Stationary: 74thSmartest Citizens: 91stMost Developed: 116thLongest Average Lifespans: 145thBest Weather: 153rdMost Compassionate Citizens: 184thMost Cultured: 197thMost Inclusive: 253rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 259thMost Beautiful Environments: 275thLeast Corrupt Governments: 278thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 295thHighest Economic Output: 327thHealthiest Citizens: 370thMost Advanced Public Transport: 499thLargest Governments: 518thHighest Average Tax Rates: 578thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 736thHighest Poor Incomes: 783rdMost Rebellious Youth: 789thMost Secular: 856thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,009thTop
5%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 1,702ndMost Efficient Economies: 1,991stHighest Average Incomes: 2,034thSafest: 2,967thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,323rdMost Influential: 3,502ndHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 5,535thTop
10%
Nudest: 13,920thLowest Crime Rates: 14,755thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 14,989th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in United Phoenicia, whipping posts and lashes have been transferred to the Historical Museum of United Phoenician Embarrassments.
  • : Following new legislation in United Phoenicia, popular cartoon characters frequently appear in government-sponsored PSAs reminding students to say no to drugs.
  • : Following new legislation in United Phoenicia, police struggle to solve crimes due to the lack of fingerprint records.
  • : Following new legislation in United Phoenicia, years of counter-terrorism planning are foiled by small details.
  • : Following new legislation in United Phoenicia, United Phoenician police have to pay out of their own pockets for bulletproof vests.
  • : Following new legislation in United Phoenicia, fraternities are notorious for drunken hooliganism.
  • : Following new legislation in United Phoenicia, military strategists are questioning the wisdom of subsidizing the economies of sworn enemies.
  • : Following new legislation in United Phoenicia, the nation grinds to a halt on the anniversary of every marginally noteworthy event.
  • : Following new legislation in United Phoenicia, park rangers perform full-body searches on suspected fungus smugglers.
  • : Following new legislation in United Phoenicia, there's never a spare chair in the retirement home.

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