by Max Barry

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The Commonwealth of United States of Vietnam

“We're not Việt Cộng”

Category: Left-wing Utopia
Civil Rights:
Frightening
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
World Benchmark

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

United States of Vietnam

Population18.783 billion

CapitalHanoi
LeaderĐặng Văn Nông

CurrencyVietnam Dong
AnimalWater Buffalo

The Commonwealth of United States of Vietnam is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Đặng Văn Nông with a fair hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, rampant corporate plagiarism, and smutty television. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 18.783 billion Vietnamese are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Administration, and Welfare also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hanoi. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Vietnamese economy, worth a remarkable 7,803 trillion Vietnam Dong a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 415,468 Vietnam Dong, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

New government leaflets tell coeliac children to eat more crisps, libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars, you can't put down the nation's attitude to pet health, and government ministers sport new billboards that read 'Will Trade Votes for Private Members' Bill Support'. Crime is totally unknown. United States of Vietnam's national animal is the Water Buffalo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

United States of Vietnam is ranked 157,105th in the world and 2,406th in the South Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,847.84 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Inclusive: 146thLeast Corrupt Governments: 152ndNicest Citizens: 156thMost Compassionate Citizens: 164thLargest Welfare Programs: 180thHighest Average Tax Rates: 187thLargest Governments: 189thMost Cheerful Citizens: 189thSmartest Citizens: 196thHighest Food Quality: 205thMost Valuable International Artwork: 221stMost Beautiful Environments: 242ndMost Developed: 259thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 280thLongest Average Lifespans: 281stSafest: 298thMost Scientifically Advanced: 314thBest Weather: 324thHighest Poor Incomes: 339thMost Rebellious Youth: 346thHealthiest Citizens: 374thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 405thMost Advanced Public Education: 407thLargest Information Technology Sector: 426thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 455thLargest Publishing Industry: 466thMost Cultured: 471stMost Advanced Public Transport: 486thMost Efficient Economies: 489thMost Secular: 506thLowest Crime Rates: 572ndHighest Average Incomes: 1,149thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,204thHighest Economic Output: 1,603rdMost Pacifist: 1,798thMost Subsidized Industry: 2,086thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,392ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 2,513thRudest Citizens: 3,401stTop
5%
Most Influential: 4,706thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5,722ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 9,774thMost Patriotic: 10,495thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,063rdLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 14,424thTop
10%
Nudest: 19,585thMost Income Equality: 20,439thLargest Populations: 20,800thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 22,701stMost Extreme: 32,052nd
Top
1%
Most Cheerful Citizens: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 4th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 4th in the regionLargest Governments: 5th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 5th in the regionNicest Citizens: 5th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 5th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 6th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 7th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 7th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 7th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 7th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 7th in the regionMost Inclusive: 7th in the regionMost Developed: 8th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 8th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 8th in the regionBest Weather: 8th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 8th in the regionSafest: 8th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 9th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 10th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 10th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 11th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 11th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 12th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 13th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 13th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 13th in the regionMost Secular: 16th in the regionMost Cultured: 16th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 21st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 22nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 29th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 29th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 29th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 52nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 53rd in the regionTop
5%
Rudest Citizens: 78th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 92nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 98th in the regionMost Patriotic: 123rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 138th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 164th in the regionLargest Populations: 182nd in the regionMost Extreme: 237th in the regionMost Politically Free: 245th in the regionTop
10%
Nudest: 283rd in the regionMost Income Equality: 387th in the regionMost Influential: 458th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 473rd in the region

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