The Commonwealth of United States of Vietnam is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Đặng Văn Nông with a fair hand, and renowned for its national health service, unlimited-speed roads, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 17.062 billion Vietnamese are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Environment, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hanoi. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Vietnamese economy, worth a remarkable 6,723 trillion Vietnam Dong a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 394,079 Vietnam Dong, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Government statisticians explain census inaccuracies by declaring that "Sith happens", Đặng Văn Nông's iHouse is so intelligent that it manages its own social media accounts, newly synthesized elements' half-lives are a million times shorter than the time it takes to say their names, and corporate lawyers are joyfully combing through the new tax code for any new loopholes for their clients. Crime is totally unknown. United States of Vietnam's national animal is the Water Buffalo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

United States of Vietnam is ranked 696^th in the world and 19^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 182.5 law-abiding acts per hour.