The Colony of Uoiae is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Midas with an even hand, and renowned for its state-planned economy and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 12.714 billion Uoiaeans enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Troy. The average income tax rate is 42.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish Uoiaean economy, worth 316 trillion guilders a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Beef-Based Agriculture, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Book Publishing, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 24,883 guilders, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Families returning from international vacations are unable to get their children back into the country, unicorns are considered a delicacy, the government officially wants you to slow down and speak more clearly, and the government only invests in infrastructure after a natural disaster. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Uoiae's national animal is the unicorn, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Druidism.

Uoiae is ranked 166,146^th in the world and 1^st in Chemistry for Most Authoritarian, with 637.78 milliStalins.