by Max Barry

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The United Technocratic States of Valensi

“Unfazed. Unmatched. Unrelenting.”

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Some

Regional Influence: Eminence Grise

Location: CISB

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Valensi

Population6.965 billion

CapitalAi Saichen
LeaderGrand Marshall Urduja

CurrencyValen
AnimalTricorn

The United Technocratic States of Valensi is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Grand Marshall Urduja with an even hand, and renowned for its digital currency, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, humorless population of 6.965 billion Valensians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ai Saichen. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Valensian economy, worth a remarkable 2,208 trillion Valens a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 317,090 Valens, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It turns out that money can buy you happiness, the Smalltopian embassy doubles as an electoral campaign headquarters, students abandon classrooms for online education, and children are often punished for the sins of the fathers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valensi's national animal is the Tricorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Valensi is ranked 14,529th in the world and 4th in CISB for Most Stationary, with 1,151.4030131016 Days.

Top
1%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 249thLargest Information Technology Sector: 262ndLowest Crime Rates: 290thMost Efficient Economies: 383rdSmartest Citizens: 540thSafest: 559thMost Developed: 567thLargest Governments: 629thLongest Average Lifespans: 646thMost Inclusive: 734thHighest Poor Incomes: 758thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 775thHighest Average Tax Rates: 833rdHealthiest Citizens: 918thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,447thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,512thHighest Average Incomes: 1,636thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,719thTop
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,760thMost Secular: 2,884thBest Weather: 2,912thMost Valuable International Artwork: 3,148thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,275thMost Influential: 3,656thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 3,731stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,964thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4,738thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5,742ndMost Compassionate Citizens: 6,350thHighest Economic Output: 6,450thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 9,720thLargest Publishing Industry: 10,023rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10,075thLargest Welfare Programs: 10,234thTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 10,709thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 12,361stMost Stationary: 14,529thLargest Retail Industry: 14,828thMost Cultured: 15,397thNicest Citizens: 18,917thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 20,631st
Top
5%
Healthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionMost Developed: 1st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 1st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 1st in the regionSafest: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionMost Inclusive: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionBest Weather: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 2nd in the regionTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 3rd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 4th in the regionMost Stationary: 4th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 4th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 4th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Valensi, children are often punished for the sins of the fathers.
  • : Following new legislation in Valensi, students abandon classrooms for online education.
  • : Following new legislation in Valensi, the Smalltopian embassy doubles as an electoral campaign headquarters.
  • : Following new legislation in Valensi, it turns out that money can buy you happiness.
  • : Following new legislation in Valensi, robosexual marriages are increasingly common.
  • : Following new legislation in Valensi, every microwave and toaster is being disassembled and probed by inspectors.
  • : Following new legislation in Valensi, the nation's politicians are acknowledged as the most polite in the region to the dismay of comedians everywhere.
  • : Following new legislation in Valensi, Little League matches are often attended by riot police with water cannon... just in case.
  • : Following new legislation in Valensi, doctors prescribe videos of political debates to patients with insomnia.
  • : Valensi voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Ban on Forced Blood Sports".

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