by Max Barry

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The Clad in Gold Republic of Valrknut

“Always be ready for a fight” Riders

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Good

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: Ancient Epic League of Epicness

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Valrknut

Population14.071 billion

CapitalMontemare
LeaderRiders
FaithChurch of Nyarlathotep

CurrencySt John
AnimalWinged Lynx

The Clad in Gold Republic of Valrknut is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Riders with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 14.071 billion Valrutians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Montemare. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Valrutian economy, worth a remarkable 8,761 trillion St Johns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Gambling. Average income is a breathtaking 622,634 St Johns, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 5,686,866 per year while the poor average 7,482, a ratio of 760 to 1.

Eight-year-olds can be seen lighting up in public areas, Valrknut successfully hosted the Ancient Epic League of Epicness Olympics, appliance stores are finding spy cameras embedded in their unboxed merchandise, and 'Police Academy 36' and 'Sharknados On A Plane' are vying for top spot at the box-office. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Valrknut's national animal is the Winged Lynx, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Church of Nyarlathotep.

Valrknut is ranked 157th in the world and 1st in Ancient Epic League of Epicness for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 742.08 on the Bus Surprisal Index.

Top
1%
Most Efficient Economies: 8thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 30thRudest Citizens: 47thHighest Disposable Incomes: 49thFattest Citizens: 87thMost Avoided: 90thLargest Retail Industry: 97thHighest Average Incomes: 112thMost Armed: 133rdLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 150thLargest Gambling Industry: 151stMost Subsidized Industry: 152ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 157thLargest Agricultural Sector: 166thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 170thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 170thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 180thMost Scientifically Advanced: 183rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 203rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 268thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 293rdLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 335thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 376thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 403rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 406thLargest Governments: 410thMost Corrupt Governments: 451stLargest Mining Sector: 489thHighest Economic Output: 517thHighest Crime Rates: 535thLargest Insurance Industry: 715thMost Cultured: 940thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 955thSmartest Citizens: 1,057thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,206thLargest Publishing Industry: 1,250thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,266thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,420thTop
5%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 1,849thMost Stationary: 3,754thLargest Black Market: 7,824thMost Advanced Public Transport: 8,091stMost Influential: 8,547thMost Devout: 8,797thTop
10%
Most Pro-Market: 11,158thHighest Drug Use: 12,179thLargest Populations: 13,947th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Valrknut, 'Police Academy 36' and 'Sharknados On A Plane' are vying for top spot at the box-office.
  • : Following new legislation in Valrknut, appliance stores are finding spy cameras embedded in their unboxed merchandise.
  • : Following new legislation in Valrknut, Valrknut successfully hosted the Ancient Epic League of Epicness Olympics.
  • : Following new legislation in Valrknut, eight-year-olds can be seen lighting up in public areas.
  • : Following new legislation in Valrknut, battlefield gains are quickly lost when enemies don't respect a time-out.
  • : Following new legislation in Valrknut, formerly fertile fields are being leached dry of nutrients by intensive farming.
  • : Following new legislation in Valrknut, shady doctors seem to have impeccable records.
  • : Following new legislation in Valrknut, official maps have to be revised on a weekly basis.
  • : Following new legislation in Valrknut, the government spends twice as much reclaiming lost settlements from the sea as it could've on coastal defences.
  • : Following new legislation in Valrknut, Riders's iHouse is so intelligent that it manages its own social media accounts.

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