The Federal Republic of Varisland is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Yasmijn Kruiper with a fair hand, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, unlimited-speed roads, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 10.329 billion Varislandians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Varastad. The average income tax rate is 92.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Varislandic economy, worth a remarkable 2,682 trillion Varislandic Marks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 259,696 Varislandic Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Varislandic football team for the Maxxmas ceasefire consists only of Intelligence Corps personnel, politicians no longer click with dating app matches, descriptions of properties as "a stone's throw from the city centre" require a trebuchet to be true, and marketing departments of corporate giants compete to sponsor little league teams. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Varisland's national animal is the Falcon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Varisland is ranked 314,324^th in the world and 5,925^th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -807.34 on the Scary Big Number Scale.