by Max Barry

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The United Socialist States of Vetelo

“Glory to the USSD”

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Some
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Power

Location: USSD

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Vetelo

Population22.659 billion

CapitalMiguel
LeaderGeneralissimo Attero Dirotsky
Faitha Cult of Personality

CurrencyUSSD Credit
AnimalKiwi

The United Socialist States of Vetelo is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Generalissimo Attero Dirotsky with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, smutty television, and state-planned economy. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 22.659 billion Vetelonians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized morass — prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Law & Order, and Environment are also considered important, while Defense and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Miguel. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Vetelonian economy, worth a remarkable 5,114 trillion USSD Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 225,727 USSD Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government funds large training centres to turn Kiwis into functioning members of society, they unpaved paradise and tore up a parking lot (ooh, bop bop bop), Air Vetelo tickets have reached sky-high prices due to a complete monopoly on air travel, and pandemics are over and done with by the time it takes to pass the nation's stringent border security. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vetelo's national animal is the Kiwi, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is a Cult of Personality.

Vetelo is ranked 343,491st in the world and 20th in USSD for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -17.55 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 49thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 120thMost Advanced Public Education: 197thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 285thLargest Welfare Programs: 324thMost Pacifist: 347thMost Valuable International Artwork: 352ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 377thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 407thLowest Crime Rates: 426thLargest Governments: 547thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 772ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 844thMost Developed: 1,040thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,159thMost Inclusive: 1,245thMost Influential: 1,309thHighest Food Quality: 1,464thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,557thSmartest Citizens: 1,616thMost Compassionate Citizens: 1,929thMost Cultured: 2,105thHealthiest Citizens: 2,172ndMost Corrupt Governments: 2,175thNicest Citizens: 2,646thHighest Poor Incomes: 2,765thTop
5%
Highest Economic Output: 3,489thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,182ndMost Secular: 4,221stHighest Average Incomes: 7,690thBest Weather: 8,038thMost Scientifically Advanced: 10,297thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11,206thSafest: 13,842ndLargest Populations: 14,641stMost Authoritarian: 17,066thTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 17,952ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 18,698thMost Income Equality: 25,647thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 33,642nd
Top
5%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 1st in the regionLargest Populations: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionTop
10%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2nd in the regionMost Influential: 2nd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Vetelo lodged a message on the USSD Regional Message Board.
  • : Vetelo was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most World Assembly Endorsements.
  • : Vetelo banned The ULTRA GRAND FARTMASTER of Fartmaster Q from USSD.
  • : Vetelo was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Authoritarian.
  • : Vetelo was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Lowest Crime Rates, Healthiest Citizens, Most Advanced Public Education, Most Advanced Public Transport, and Nicest Citizens.
  • : Vetelo's influence in USSD fell from "Superpower" to "Power".
  • : Vetelo's influence in USSD rose from "Shoeshiner" to "Superpower".
  • : Vetelo relocated from Osiris to USSD.
  • : Vetelo was refounded in Osiris.
  • : Vetelo ceased to exist in USSD.

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