by Max Barry

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The Holy Flemingovian Empire of Virginian Inquisitors

“Hail Flemingovia and his benevolent loins” Lord High Inquisitor Kaldaris

Category: Corporate Police State
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Nipper

Location: Osiris

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Virginian Inquisitors

Population9.768 billion

CapitalApostolic City
LeaderLord High Inquisitor Kaldaris
FaithFlemingovianism

CurrencyAlmighty dollar
Animalheathen monkey

The Holy Flemingovian Empire of Virginian Inquisitors is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Lord High Inquisitor Kaldaris with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, aversion to nipples, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.768 billion Holy Rollers are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Spirituality are also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Apostolic City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Holier-than-thou economy, worth a remarkable 3,755 trillion Almighty dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 384,444 Almighty dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,594,885 per year while the poor average 3,534, a ratio of 1,017 to 1.

Burgers often list "miscellaneous meats" in their ingredients, Lord High Inquisitor Kaldaris makes and breaks shaky peace deals in 140 characters or less, fifty years of pension funds can disappear in half a second, and Holy Rollers wonder "if a tree falls in the woods with no credible witnesses, who wants to know?". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Virginian Inquisitors's national animal is the heathen monkey, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Flemingovianism.

Virginian Inquisitors is ranked 13,958th in the world and 737th in Osiris for Largest Information Technology Sector, scoring 21,618.63 on the Fann-Boi Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 43rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 115thMost Devout: 125thFattest Citizens: 167thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 191stMost Avoided: 196thLargest Insurance Industry: 249thMost Ignorant Citizens: 264thMost Corrupt Governments: 283rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 283rdLargest Gambling Industry: 304thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 307thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 353rdLargest Mining Sector: 393rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 438thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 472ndLargest Retail Industry: 525thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 532ndHighest Average Incomes: 855thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 979thMost Efficient Economies: 1,035thRudest Citizens: 1,089thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1,158thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,271stLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,366thLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,906thTop
5%
Highest Economic Output: 3,028thMost Armed: 3,695thLargest Governments: 5,264thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5,344thMost Scientifically Advanced: 5,484thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,805thLowest Crime Rates: 8,160thTop
10%
Most Subsidized Industry: 11,926thMost Valuable International Artwork: 12,585thLargest Black Market: 13,883rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 13,958thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 14,136thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 14,880thMost Conservative: 17,489th
Top
1%
Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 2nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 4th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4th in the regionMost Devout: 6th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 6th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 6th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 7th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 8th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 8th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 9th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 10th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 11th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 15th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 15th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 17th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 17th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 22nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 29th in the regionRudest Citizens: 33rd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 38th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 41st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 45th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 46th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 49th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 65th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Economic Output: 113th in the regionMost Armed: 182nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 239th in the regionLargest Governments: 269th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 329th in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 410th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 423rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 471st in the regionMost Pro-Market: 530th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 566th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 620th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 622nd in the regionMost Conservative: 650th in the regionMost Extreme: 707th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 737th in the regionLargest Black Market: 792nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Virginian Inquisitors, Holy Rollers wonder "if a tree falls in the woods with no credible witnesses, who wants to know?".
  • : Following new legislation in Virginian Inquisitors, fifty years of pension funds can disappear in half a second.
  • : Following new legislation in Virginian Inquisitors, Lord High Inquisitor Kaldaris makes and breaks shaky peace deals in 140 characters or less.
  • : Following new legislation in Virginian Inquisitors, burgers often list "miscellaneous meats" in their ingredients.
  • : Following new legislation in Virginian Inquisitors, childish pranks are no laughing matter.
  • : Following new legislation in Virginian Inquisitors, orthopaedics patients often have a bounce in their step.
  • : Following new legislation in Virginian Inquisitors, the first test of a good kindergartener is the quality of the sponge-baths they give.
  • : Following new legislation in Virginian Inquisitors, breaking rocks in the hot sun now involves using your head.
  • : Following new legislation in Virginian Inquisitors, heirs who take too long in the bathroom are declared missing and presumed dead.
  • : Following new legislation in Virginian Inquisitors, prisoners fit in their parole hearings around their spa treatments.

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