The Confederation of Vlakistonia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Commandant VX III with an iron fist, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, enslaved workforce, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.725 billion Vlakistonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crasnychok. The average income tax rate is 95.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Vlakistonian economy, worth a remarkable 4,564 trillion Petro-vyes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 389,268 Petro-vyes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Children's books regularly feature formerly distressed damsels suing their princes, the letters L, G, and B must never be grouped together, immigrant herding has become a national pastime, and Vlakistonia has been greatly criticised for its isolationist policies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vlakistonia's national animal is the Koala, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Conservative Eugenicism.

Vlakistonia is ranked 2,343^rd in the world and 1^st in Herta Space Station for Lowest Crime Rates, with 138.93 law-abiding acts per hour.