The Confederation of Vlakistonia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Commandant VX III with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, prohibition of alcohol, and ban on automobiles. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.281 billion Vlakistonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crasnychok. The average income tax rate is 96.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Vlakistonian economy, worth a remarkable 5,468 trillion Petro-vyes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 411,769 Petro-vyes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children must be board certified to append "Jr" to their name, glittering new sports stadiums adorn every city and town, politicians that report exaggerated crowd sizes for their speeches are dismissed for being delusional, and blind dates reemerge as a necessary evil in the quest for love. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vlakistonia's national animal is the Koala, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Conservative Eugenicism.

Vlakistonia is ranked 5,700^th in the world and 119^th in Europe for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 9,697.99 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.