by Max Barry

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The Holy Imperial War Machine of Volcanislavia

“Nobody can stop God-Emperor Magnethands!” God-Emperor Magnethands

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Apprentice

Location: Gay

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Volcanislavia

Population13.619 billion

CapitalMaximum Security Citadel X
LeaderGod-Emperor Magnethands

Currencygold sovereign
Animalunicorn

The Holy Imperial War Machine of Volcanislavia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by God-Emperor Magnethands with an iron fist, and renowned for its national health service, parental licensing program, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 13.619 billion Volcanislavians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Healthcare, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Maximum Security Citadel X. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Volcanislavian economy, worth a remarkable 3,220 trillion gold sovereigns a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 236,501 gold sovereigns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The amount welfare recipients spend on fertilizer has exploded, God-Emperor Magnethands is strangely popular with male politicians' wives, the police go to great efforts to seize contraband favored by politicians on the police oversight committee, and royal processions are often mistaken for pride parades. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Volcanislavia's national animal is the unicorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Volcanislavia is ranked 28,822nd in the world and 25th in Gay for Most Stationary, with 1,387.4434523134 days.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 857thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,035thMost Advanced Public Transport: 1,253rdHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,403rdLargest Black Market: 2,388thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 2,458thHighest Poor Incomes: 2,761stHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,871stTop
5%
Most Advanced Public Education: 3,276thLargest Governments: 3,687thMost Secular: 3,733rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 4,061stLargest Welfare Programs: 5,002ndMost Subsidized Industry: 5,013thMost Corrupt Governments: 5,046thMost Scientifically Advanced: 5,280thLowest Crime Rates: 5,448thMost Developed: 6,020thLongest Average Lifespans: 6,134thHighest Average Incomes: 6,326thHighest Economic Output: 6,575thMost Influential: 6,629thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,183rdMost World Assembly Endorsements: 7,667thSmartest Citizens: 8,697thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 8,825thMost Valuable International Artwork: 9,658thMost Beautiful Environments: 9,714thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 10,574thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 10,742ndMost Patriotic: 13,251stTop
10%
Most Efficient Economies: 16,593rdMost Inclusive: 20,324thHighest Food Quality: 21,504thHealthiest Citizens: 28,419thMost Stationary: 28,822nd
Top
5%
Most Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Patriotic: 4th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 4th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 6th in the regionTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 7th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 7th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 8th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 9th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 9th in the regionMost Secular: 10th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 11th in the regionLargest Governments: 11th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 12th in the region

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