by Max Barry

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The United States of Weitzel

“Brawndo- It's Got What Plants Crave!” Der Kommissar

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: EWU

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Weitzel

Population45.911 billion

CapitalSmallville
LeaderDer Kommissar

CurrencySmelly Fart
Animalduckbilled platypus

The United States of Weitzel is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Der Kommissar with an even hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, frequent executions, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 45.911 billion Weitzelese are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Social Policy and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Smallville. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Weitzelian economy, worth a remarkable 9,777 trillion Smelly Farts a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 212,976 Smelly Farts, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 748,587 per year while the poor average 43,913, a ratio of 17.0 to 1.

Families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain, requests to "pass the salt" are supported by tank divisions, the government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life, and street gangs rule most of the nation's major cities. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Weitzel's national animal is the duckbilled platypus, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Weitzel is ranked 142nd in the world and 1st in EWU for Most Stationary, with 6,943.66222272 days.

Top
1%
Most Stationary: 142ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 465thLargest Populations: 591stHighest Economic Output: 874thRudest Citizens: 1,127thMost Armed: 1,485thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,631stHighest Crime Rates: 1,862ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,944thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,240thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,780thTop
5%
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,613thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3,965thFattest Citizens: 3,969thMost Devout: 4,165thMost Influential: 5,388thLargest Publishing Industry: 6,069thMost Scientifically Advanced: 6,100thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 7,479thSmartest Citizens: 7,610thHighest Average Incomes: 8,490thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 9,343rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 9,789thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 10,023rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 10,222ndMost Patriotic: 10,401stLeast Corrupt Governments: 10,768thLargest Retail Industry: 11,341stLargest Mining Sector: 12,265thMost Efficient Economies: 12,930thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 14,114thMost Cheerful Citizens: 14,610thTop
10%
Most Beautiful Environments: 16,367thMost Cultured: 17,292ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 19,954thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 21,809thLargest Black Market: 24,979th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Weitzel was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Workforce Participation Rate and the Top 10% for Largest Governments.
  • : Weitzel voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Airline Safety And Comfort Disclosures".
  • : Following new legislation in Weitzel, street gangs rule most of the nation's major cities.
  • : Following new legislation in Weitzel, the government is continually probing the galaxy in search of alien life.
  • : Weitzel voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Repeal "Liberate Realm of the Whispering Winds"".
  • : Following new legislation in Weitzel, requests to "pass the salt" are supported by tank divisions.
  • : Following new legislation in Weitzel, families waiting for delayed pipe installations hope daily for rain.
  • : Weitzel voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Education and Availability of Basic Medical Devices".
  • : Following new legislation in Weitzel, prime commercial land is being swamped with archaeological teams.
  • : Following new legislation in Weitzel, teddy bears and pajamas have replaced briefcases and suits in Weitzel's offices.

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: None.

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