by Max Barry

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The Holy Orange Primitocracy of Western Scientificum

“Please don't go to our eastern neighbors, alright?” Ow I stubbed my toe

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Few
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: the Rejected Realms

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Western Scientificum

Population12.853 billion

CapitalWestern Scientificum City
LeaderOw I stubbed my toe
Faitha major religion

Currencycoins we found on the street
AnimalNuubly

The Holy Orange Primitocracy of Western Scientificum is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Ow I stubbed my toe with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ritual sacrifices, enslaved workforce, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.853 billion Western Scientists are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government is effectively ruled by the Department of Spirituality, although Industry and Law & Order are also considered important, while Welfare and Healthcare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Western Scientificum City. The average income tax rate is 74.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Western Scientist economy, worth a remarkable 1,695 trillion coins we found on the streets a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Basket Weaving, Furniture Restoration, and Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 131,909 coins we found on the streets, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.6 times as much as the poorest.

Most towns have their Ow I Stubbed My Toe High School located on Ow I Stubbed My Toe Street, dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws, people typically base their votes on which party has the cutest logo, and male politicians lose their jobs for staring too long at their female counterparts. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Western Scientificum's national animal is the Nuubly, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is a major religion.

Western Scientificum is ranked 226,039th in the world and 6,356th in the Rejected Realms for Largest Agricultural Sector, scoring -46.37 on the Mu-Bah-Daggs Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Most Primitive: 11thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 13thMost Ignorant Citizens: 13thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 21stMost Devout: 25thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 77thFattest Citizens: 121stMost Corrupt Governments: 167thHighest Crime Rates: 300thMost Armed: 311thMost Avoided: 550thMost Subsidized Industry: 800thLargest Black Market: 1,207thMost Efficient Economies: 1,992ndTop
5%
Rudest Citizens: 2,567thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5,067thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 8,434thMost Stationary: 8,600thHighest Economic Output: 9,351stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 11,089thTop
10%
Most Influential: 15,238thHighest Average Incomes: 18,452ndLargest Populations: 19,162ndLargest Governments: 19,918thHighest Average Tax Rates: 21,321st
Top
1%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 2nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Devout: 3rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4th in the regionFattest Citizens: 9th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 11th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 13th in the regionMost Armed: 15th in the regionMost Avoided: 24th in the regionLargest Black Market: 35th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 49th in the regionTop
5%
Most Efficient Economies: 72nd in the regionMost Stationary: 81st in the regionRudest Citizens: 86th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 222nd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 253rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 259th in the regionMost Influential: 261st in the regionTop
10%
Largest Populations: 346th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 404th in the regionLargest Governments: 502nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 533rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 573rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Western Scientificum was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry.
  • : Western Scientificum was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Average Tax Rates.
  • : Following new legislation in Western Scientificum, male politicians lose their jobs for staring too long at their female counterparts.
  • : Following new legislation in Western Scientificum, people typically base their votes on which party has the cutest logo.
  • : Following new legislation in Western Scientificum, dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws.
  • : Following new legislation in Western Scientificum, most towns have their Ow I Stubbed My Toe High School located on Ow I Stubbed My Toe Street.
  • : Following new legislation in Western Scientificum, pre-eclampsia in pregnancy is treated with encouragement to take "long soothing walks".
  • : Following new legislation in Western Scientificum, opposition party MPs campaign shirtless to show off their numerous lash scars.
  • : Following new legislation in Western Scientificum, decaying farm hamlets have twice the representation of major urban areas.
  • : Following new legislation in Western Scientificum, the police force is rumoured to be made up of evil shadows with no souls.

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