The Free Land of Woodland Greenmen is a colossal, safe nation, remarkable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, parental licensing program, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.232 billion Woodland Greenmenians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Forest. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 90.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Woodland Greenmenian economy, worth 902 trillion pans a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 109,581 pans, with the richest citizens earning 5.8 times as much as the poorest.

Woodland Greenmenian politicians are often described as having more style than substance, it is now illegal for teens to view any sites except Club Kitten and My Little Donkey, pretending to be prejudiced is a good way to get out of jury duty, and 13-year-old internet trolls are treated as a threat on par with terrorists. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Woodland Greenmen's national animal is the centaur, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Nature Paganism.

Woodland Greenmen is ranked 51,073^rd in the world and 340^th in the West Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 31.27 flags saluted per person per day.