by Max Barry

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The Glorious Empire of Woolitania

“Lassen Sie mich Arzt, ich bin durch!” WooShell

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: Forest

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Woolitania

Population32.287 billion

CapitalWoolitania City
LeaderWooShell
FaithCult of the Three Winds

Currencywoolian
Animalwoolpertinger

The Glorious Empire of Woolitania is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by WooShell with an even hand, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, free-roaming dinosaurs, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 32.287 billion Woolitanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The tiny, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, with Administration, Industry, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Woolitania City. The average income tax rate is 1.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Woolitanian economy, worth an astonishing 10,133 trillion woolians a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 313,860 woolians, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Teenagers are told they're not thinking about sex enough, the government is lending a hand to private industry, aging citizens are celebrating the end of the 'Early Bird War', and airplanes have giant grilles on their noses to knock drones out of their path. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Woolitania's national animal is the woolpertinger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Cult of the Three Winds.

Woolitania is ranked 120th in the world and 2nd in Forest for Largest Information Technology Sector, scoring 120,147.17 on the Fann-Boi Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Largest Publishing Industry: 5thMost Rebellious Youth: 10thMost Cultured: 13thHealthiest Citizens: 35thMost Cheerful Citizens: 38thMost Developed: 64thLongest Average Lifespans: 77thSmartest Citizens: 89thMost Secular: 90thMost Pacifist: 114thLargest Information Technology Sector: 120thLeast Corrupt Governments: 133rdNicest Citizens: 198thMost Scientifically Advanced: 248thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 268thHighest Crime Rates: 401stHighest Economic Output: 402ndMost Compassionate Citizens: 513thMost Inclusive: 529thHighest Poor Incomes: 573rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 611thMost Efficient Economies: 898thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,340thLargest Populations: 1,462ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,491stHighest Average Incomes: 1,697thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,817thBest Weather: 2,100thTop
5%
Rudest Citizens: 7,255thMost Advanced Public Education: 7,276thLargest Governments: 8,650thMost Armed: 10,970thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11,791stTop
10%
Most Influential: 16,616thMost Subsidized Industry: 17,212thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 19,019thLargest Welfare Programs: 19,833rd
Top
1%
Most Cultured: 1st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 1st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionMost Developed: 1st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 1st in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionNicest Citizens: 2nd in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Pacifist: 3rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 3rd in the regionLargest Populations: 4th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Disposable Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 6th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 6th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 9th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 9th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 9th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 9th in the regionMost Inclusive: 10th in the regionTop
10%
Rudest Citizens: 33rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 36th in the regionMost Armed: 38th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 43rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Woolitania was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Developed and Longest Average Lifespans.
  • : Following new legislation in Woolitania, airplanes have giant grilles on their noses to knock drones out of their path.
  • : Following new legislation in Woolitania, aging citizens are celebrating the end of the 'Early Bird War'.
  • : Following new legislation in Woolitania, the government is lending a hand to private industry.
  • : Following new legislation in Woolitania, teenagers are told they're not thinking about sex enough.
  • : Following new legislation in Woolitania, the poor are forced into bankruptcy by their energy bills.
  • : Following new legislation in Woolitania, there is a law against "filthy foreign food".
  • : Following new legislation in Woolitania, foreign heads of state have taken out restraining orders against Woolitanian ambassadors.
  • : Following new legislation in Woolitania, ratings for schools' curricula range from 'Pure as the Driven Snow' to 'Late Night TV'.
  • : Following new legislation in Woolitania, the nation's peacekeeping efforts usually comes with a healthy dose of pillaging.

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