by Max Barry

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The Hurt Feelings of Wussy States

“I'm Offended!” Anarchius

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Strong
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Power

Location: The Fist of God

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Wussy States

Population11.293 billion

CapitalFreeloadia
LeaderAnarchius

CurrencyTears
AnimalJackalope

The Hurt Feelings of Wussy States is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Anarchius with an iron fist, and remarkable for its prohibition of alcohol, ban on automobiles, and smutty television. The compassionate, cynical, humorless population of 11.293 billion Wussies are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Freeloadia. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The strong Wussy Statesian economy, worth 725 trillion Tears a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, extremely specialized black market in Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 64,222 Tears, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The nation is known as the cheapskates of The Fist of God, high school principals regularly send armed truancy patrols to drag problem students to school, dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws, and elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Wussy States's national animal is the Jackalope, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Wussy States is ranked 208,027th in the world and 3rd in The Fist of God for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring -38.29 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Best Weather: 999thMost Pacifist: 1,425thMost Secular: 1,537thMost Beautiful Environments: 1,561stHighest Crime Rates: 1,593rdLargest Black Market: 1,825thTop
5%
Most Rebellious Youth: 2,123rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,234thMost Compassionate Citizens: 2,530thHealthiest Citizens: 3,075thMost Primitive: 3,598thMost Corrupt Governments: 3,694thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,708thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 3,753rdMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 4,074thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,288thMost Advanced Public Education: 5,284thMost Authoritarian: 6,182ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 6,254thNicest Citizens: 6,551stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 9,166thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,972ndTop
10%
Largest Welfare Programs: 11,907thMost Cultured: 12,256thMost Conservative: 17,883rdMost Extreme: 18,209thMost Inclusive: 19,325thSmartest Citizens: 19,520th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Wussy States was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Foreign Aid Spending.
  • : Wussy States voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Ban on Forced Blood Sports".
  • : Following new legislation in Wussy States, elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation.
  • : Following new legislation in Wussy States, dog breeding has been banned in accordance with recent animal experimentation laws.
  • : Following new legislation in Wussy States, high school principals regularly send armed truancy patrols to drag problem students to school.
  • : Following new legislation in Wussy States, the nation is known as the cheapskates of The Fist of God.
  • : Following new legislation in Wussy States, teachers regularly paddle unruly students.
  • : Following new legislation in Wussy States, homes have been banned from having any more than one wheel.
  • : Wussy States voted for the World Assembly Resolution "Fair Arbitration Act".
  • : Wussy States's influence in The Fist of God rose from "Eminence Grise" to "Power".

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: None.

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