The Republic of You 553 is a colossal, safe nation, renowned for its parental licensing program, public floggings, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, devout population of 5.246 billion You 553ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Welfare, and Education. The average income tax rate is 37.9%.

The You 553ian economy, worth 199 trillion marks a year, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Pizza Delivery, Book Publishing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 38,006 marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Soldiers' positions are given away by the glint of their bayonets, the government makes bereaved siblings into bereaved orphans, code enforcement officers circle wealthy You 553ians like vultures, and some are born loving old plays and some have old plays thrust upon them. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. You 553's national animal is the panther, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

You 553 is ranked 156,680^th in the world and 725^th in Dead Sea for Lowest Crime Rates, with 60.45 law-abiding acts per hour.