by Max Barry

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The United Socialist States of Zaratov

“A Victorious People, the Glorious Might of Zaratov!”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Page

Location: The Leftist Assembly

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Zaratov

Population7.822 billion

CapitalDerzhost
LeaderSupreme Kommissar SovyÚtskaga-Soyuza
FaithState Atheism

CurrencyRuble
AnimalGreat Gray Owl

The United Socialist States of Zaratov is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Supreme Kommissar SovyÚtskaga-Soyuza with an iron fist, and remarkable for its smutty television, compulsory military service, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 7.822 billion Zaratovians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Law & Order, and Environment also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Derzhost. The average income tax rate is 98.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Zaratovian economy, worth a remarkable 3,195 trillion Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Trout Farming. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 408,533 Rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The armed forces are locked in an expensive and bloody war abroad to stamp out possible terrorists, military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description, creating cardboard imitations of missiles is a new top-secret military project, and bargain-hunting is considered unpatriotic. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zaratov's national animal is the Great Gray Owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is State Atheism.

Zaratov is ranked 1,571st in the world and 6th in The Leftist Assembly for Lowest Crime Rates, with 141.63 Law-abiding Acts Per Hour.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 156thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 170thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 240thHighest Poor Incomes: 270thLargest Black Market: 479thLargest Agricultural Sector: 549thMost Secular: 672ndHighest Average Incomes: 711thMost Corrupt Governments: 876thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,420thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,507thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,517thLowest Crime Rates: 1,571stLargest Governments: 1,633rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,704thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,813thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,891stBest Weather: 2,100thMost Developed: 2,105thLargest Information Technology Sector: 2,370thTop
5%
Healthiest Citizens: 2,738thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,291stLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 3,390thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 3,537thMost Beautiful Environments: 3,562ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 3,688thHighest Economic Output: 4,374thMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,378thSmartest Citizens: 4,762ndMost Authoritarian: 4,882ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,320thMost Subsidized Industry: 5,847thMost Influential: 6,370thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 6,397thLargest Mining Sector: 6,411thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 8,547thMost Conservative: 8,869thMost Efficient Economies: 9,148thTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 14,568thLargest Welfare Programs: 17,173rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 19,432ndMost Extreme: 19,772ndLargest Publishing Industry: 20,411th
Top
1%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Black Market: 2nd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 4th in the regionMost Secular: 4th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 5th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Mining Sector: 6th in the regionMost Conservative: 6th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 6th in the regionMost Extreme: 8th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 10th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 13th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 13th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 14th in the regionLargest Governments: 14th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 16th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 17th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 18th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 19th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 19th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 19th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 20th in the regionMost Developed: 20th in the regionBest Weather: 22nd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 24th in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 27th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 28th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 28th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 32nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 35th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 37th in the regionLargest Populations: 44th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Zaratov, bargain-hunting is considered unpatriotic.
  • : Following new legislation in Zaratov, creating cardboard imitations of missiles is a new top-secret military project.
  • : Following new legislation in Zaratov, military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description.
  • : Following new legislation in Zaratov, the armed forces are locked in an expensive and bloody war abroad to stamp out possible terrorists.
  • : Following new legislation in Zaratov, the nation is committed to nuclear rearmament.
  • : Zaratov voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Long-Term Storage Of Produced Waste".
  • : Following new legislation in Zaratov, Renaissance frescos are being chiselled off public walls.
  • : Following new legislation in Zaratov, Zaratovian watches are often the only thing to survive a disaster intact.
  • : Zaratov endorsed The United Socialist States of Narodnya.
  • : Following new legislation in Zaratov, school plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment.

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