by Max Barry

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The Impending Doom of Zombie Penguins

“The car won't start!” Lone Survivor

Category: Left-Leaning College State
Civil Rights:
Excellent
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Regional Influence: Duckspeaker

Location: The Bar on the corner of every region

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Zombie Penguins

Population6.803 billion

CapitalOld Abandoned Zoo
LeaderLone Survivor
FaithAaaahhhh

CurrencyBrains
AnimalFish

The Impending Doom of Zombie Penguins is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Lone Survivor with an even hand, and renowned for its rampant corporate plagiarism, complete lack of prisons, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 6.803 billion Zombies enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The tiny, corrupt government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Law & Order and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Old Abandoned Zoo. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Zombie Penguinsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,796 trillion Brains a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 264,014 Brains, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 846,448 per year while the poor average 62,464, a ratio of 13.6 to 1.

Pizzerias must now display shrines to the Pizza God, the Smalltopian embassy doubles as an electoral campaign headquarters, children who write letters to Santa Claus end up in straitjackets, and mining safety laws are often more expensive than what's being mined. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Zombie Penguins's national animal is the Fish, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Aaaahhhh.

Zombie Penguins is ranked 1,808th in the world and 4th in The Bar on the corner of every region for Lowest Overall Tax Burden, scoring 194.65 on the Hayek Index.

Top
1%
Most Armed: 93rdHighest Crime Rates: 114thLargest Gambling Industry: 168thRudest Citizens: 172ndFattest Citizens: 279thMost Avoided: 508thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 546thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 585thMost Rebellious Youth: 674thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 913thHighest Disposable Incomes: 934thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,009thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,118thLargest Retail Industry: 1,121stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,260thTop
5%
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 1,766thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,808thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,310thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,346thHighest Average Incomes: 2,449thLargest Mining Sector: 2,842ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,104thLargest Black Market: 4,315thMost Secular: 4,404thLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,459thMost Scientifically Advanced: 5,923rdMost Efficient Economies: 6,026thMost Cultured: 6,402ndHighest Economic Output: 6,857thHighest Drug Use: 7,207thTop
10%
Most Stationary: 11,582ndNudest: 11,774thMost Influential: 14,031stMost Inclusive: 14,454th
Top
5%
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 2nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 2nd in the regionMost Stationary: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionMost Secular: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 2nd in the regionFattest Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 3rd in the regionRudest Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 3rd in the regionTop
10%
Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 4th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 4th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 4th in the regionLargest Black Market: 4th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 6th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 6th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 6th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Zombie Penguins, mining safety laws are often more expensive than what's being mined.
  • : Following new legislation in Zombie Penguins, children who write letters to Santa Claus end up in straitjackets.
  • : Following new legislation in Zombie Penguins, the Smalltopian embassy doubles as an electoral campaign headquarters.
  • : Following new legislation in Zombie Penguins, pizzerias must now display shrines to the Pizza God.
  • : Following new legislation in Zombie Penguins, contestants on Zombie Penguins's Got Talent are screened by the government to make sure that they actually have talent.
  • : Following new legislation in Zombie Penguins, Zombie Penguinsian politicians are often described as having more style than substance.
  • : Following new legislation in Zombie Penguins, there is no other place with more lab coats per square mile than former houses of worship.
  • : Following new legislation in Zombie Penguins, religious epiphanies are often cited as a reason for high school drop-outs.
  • : Following new legislation in Zombie Penguins, doctors who mutter "Oh my God" often lose their medical license.
  • : Zombie Penguins lodged a message on the The Bar on the corner of every region Regional Message Board.

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