by Max Barry

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Turtle Town 🐢

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EPIC CARDS

Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
“Let justice be done though the heavens fall”
Largest Publishing Industry: 44th Largest Cheese Export Sector: 257th Smartest Citizens: 265th
27.438 billion Jacobites. Daily referendums, avant-garde cinema, and keen interest in outer space.
SEASON ONE
Psychotic Dictatorship
“Order, Logic, Acuity”
Most Secular: 31st Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 31st Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 111th
5.435 billion Duskshireans. Strictly enforced bedtime, ubiquitous missile silos, and free-roaming dinosaurs.
SEASON ONE

ULTRA-RARE CARDS

Benevolent Dictatorship
“ Calm down, NS! Now's not the time for fear...”
Most Efficient Economies: 45th Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 805th Fattest Citizens: 925th
18.516 billion Feds. Deadly medical pandemics, otherworldly petting zoo, and digital currency.
SEASON ONE
Left-wing Utopia
“Workers of the world, unite !”
Largest Welfare Programs: 353rd Largest Publishing Industry: 374th Most Rebellious Youth: 604th
24.094 billion Frattastanians. National health service, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates.
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Quae Caret Ora Cruore Nostro”
Largest Publishing Industry: 115th Most Rebellious Youth: 693rd Largest Information Technology Sector: 799th
19.434 billion Nojians. Smutty television, complete lack of prisons, and vat-grown people.
SEASON ONE
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world ”
Most Stationary: 794th Largest Populations: 2,605th Highest Economic Output: 7,736th
25.297 billion Socrates the Athenianians. Keen interest in outer space, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and devotion to social welfare.
SEASON ONE
Corporate Police State
“The Most Serene Ruler can not make mistakes”
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 418th Highest Wealthy Incomes: 490th Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 515th
12.126 billion Corgunians. Barren, inhospitable landscape, frequent executions, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies.
SEASON ONE
Liberal Democratic Socialists
“Katamari Forever”
Most Subsidized Industry: 817th Largest Welfare Programs: 834th Most Advanced Public Transport: 908th
9.318 billion Katamarians. Daily referendums, anti-smoking policies, and stringent health and safety legislation.
SEASON ONE

RARE CARDS

Civil Rights Lovefest
“Sharing is caring!”
Largest Populations: 55th Most Stationary: 178th Most Cheerful Citizens: 896th
34.779 billion Lefties. Smutty television, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare.
SEASON ONE
Iron Fist Consumerists
“Sjallaja šannansu tangogisjū!”
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 469th Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 734th Most Primitive: 1,014th
13.294 billion Kytalāshā. Barren, inhospitable landscape, avant-garde cinema, and keen interest in outer space.
SEASON ONE
Left-Leaning College State
“Eurasia remembered the password. You're welcome.”
Largest Gambling Industry: 7,038th Most Rebellious Youth: 12,786th Largest Soda Pop Sector: 15,890th
9.033 billion Esamirans. Burgeoning Vajorna population.
SEASON ONE
Democratic Socialists
“bye”
Most Stationary: 928th
8.018 billion Hibartyans. Punitive income tax rates.
SEASON ONE
Psychotic Dictatorship
“E Pluribus Unum”
Most Authoritarian: 129th Most Extreme: 198th Most Conservative: 198th
5.833 billion Guard 109ians. Restrictive gun laws and stringent health and safety legislation.
SEASON ONE
Psychotic Dictatorship
“Community”
Most Conservative: 204th Most Authoritarian: 3,749th Most Ignorant Citizens: 7,631st
5.737 billion Vagrians. Zero percent divorce rate, punitive income tax rates, and suspicion of poets.
SEASON ONE

UNCOMMON CARDS

New York Times Democracy
“Oh for the days when beer was free”
Largest Populations: 2,942nd Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,231st Largest Black Market: 7,904th
24.116 billion DYPians. Frequent executions, punitive income tax rates, and complete absence of social welfare.
SEASON ONE
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Royal Federation ”
Largest Populations: 9,067th Largest Black Market: 10,519th Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 13,647th
14.657 billion Royal Federationians. Complete lack of prisons and compulsory vegetarianism.
SEASON ONE
Compulsory Consumerist State
“Join the glorious Eastern Roman Empire !!”
Most Stationary: 707th Largest Cheese Export Sector: 745th Largest Populations: 2,783rd
24.688 billion 01 ERE Embassy4ians. Frequent executions, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion.
SEASON ONE
Civil Rights Lovefest
“That which kills you makes you stronger”
Largest Publishing Industry: 1,464th Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 2,217th Most Efficient Economies: 2,665th
12.697 billion Asshats. Museums and concert halls, state-planned economy, and irreverence towards religion.
SEASON ONE
Father Knows Best State
“Malum consilium est, quod mutari non potest.”
Most Stationary: 3,383rd Most Devout: 4,394th Fattest Citizens: 6,756th
12.459 billion Schwarzeflaggeans. Triple-decker prams, ubiquitous missile silos, and zero percent divorce rate.
SEASON ONE
Father Knows Best State
“Hanging out on your lawn, with swords drawn”
Largest Populations: 12,531st
12.611 billion Can Vans. Museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and irreverence towards religion.
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Pushing the frontier for every obstacle one at a time”
Largest Information Technology Sector: 1,964th Most Advanced Public Education: 2,354th Most Developed: 2,371st
8.304 billion Komminlanders. Keen interest in outer space, complete lack of prisons, and daily referendums.
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“발해의 승리에 과 대한 세상의 악화”
Most Average: 1,131st Largest Cheese Export Sector: 2,816th Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 16,543rd
6.794 billion Parhasques. Burgeoning Parhean Rhinoceros population.
SEASON ONE
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Skin on skin, let the love begin”
Most Average: 1,790th Most Stationary: 6,437th
9.568 billion Blitz-2ians. Burgeoning Dolly Varden population.
SEASON ONE
Anarchy
“75”
Nudest: 45th Most Politically Free: 1,458th Most Stationary: 9,153rd
7.582 billion 75-ers. Ban on automobiles and enforced nudity.
Civil Rights Lovefest
“In Wobbegong We Trust”
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,101st Largest Publishing Industry: 3,169th Highest Disposable Incomes: 5,607th
5.265 billion Orectolobidaeans. Anti-smoking policies, national health service, and prohibition of alcohol.
SEASON ONE
Democratic Socialists
“All shall come with”
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 841st Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 5,430th Most Compassionate Citizens: 6,410th
3.871 billion South of Southians. Museums and concert halls, keen interest in outer space, and punitive income tax rates.
SEASON ONE
Anarchy
“Condealus Vult!”
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 854th Rudest Citizens: 873rd Highest Crime Rates: 1,358th
3.526 billion Jadentopians. Rum-swilling pirates, barren, inhospitable landscape, and daily referendums.
SEASON ONE
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“民族,民權,民生!”
Largest Agricultural Sector: 1,524th Most Scientifically Advanced: 2,931st Highest Disposable Incomes: 4,984th
3.391 billion Onokers. Public floggings, ubiquitous missile silos, and irreverence towards religion.
SEASON ONE
New York Times Democracy
“In Varietate Concordia”
Best Weather: 969th Largest Information Technology Sector: 1,150th Most Beautiful Environments: 1,589th
2.749 billion Europeans. Otherworldly petting zoo, free-roaming dinosaurs, and irreverence towards religion.
SEASON ONE
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Privatize the Government!!”
Largest Agricultural Sector: 1,043rd Most Secular: 1,550th Largest Cheese Export Sector: 2,887th
1.653 billion Wataticians. Frequent executions, daily referendums, and keen interest in outer space.
SEASON ONE
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