by Max Barry

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Xesphor

13

EPIC CARDS

Father Knows Best State
“Eschew Obfuscation”
Most Stationary: 9th Most Subsidized Industry: 12th Largest Populations: 64th
34.744 billion Afi-Aftosians. Complete lack of prisons, sprawling nuclear power plants, and complete absence of social welfare.
SEASON ONE

ULTRA-RARE CARDS

Iron Fist Consumerists
“Kneel to your Emperor, or you will be knelt!”
Largest Mining Sector: 117thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 158thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 427th
31.3b7,940t
SEASON TWO

RARE CARDS

Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
“Reunited Through Time, United Forever”
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 538th Most Advanced Public Transport: 741st Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 1,266th
9.962 billion Aghamish. Keen interest in outer space, restrictive gun laws, and devotion to social welfare.
SEASON ONE
New York Times Democracy
“It's so cute when people think they can kill us.”
Nudest: 454th Largest Soda Pop Sector: 4,655th Largest Black Market: 5,508th
11.14 billion Morlodanians. Deadly medical pandemics, daily referendums, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies.
Democratic Socialists
“Skin on skin, let the love begin”
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 5,447th Most Income Equality: 5,898th Most Stationary: 7,941st
8.499 billion TRF Smorelandians. Museums and concert halls, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation.
SEASON ONE
Iron Fist Consumerists
“Glory to the Fatherland”
Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 625th Largest Cheese Export Sector: 653rd Largest Agricultural Sector: 957th
3.807 billion Gilderoy Empireans. Enslaved workforce, pith helmet sales, and complete lack of prisons.
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Shut up and touch the monkey!!”
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 1,164thMost Inclusive: 1,593rdMost Influential: 1,706th
2.96b516t
SEASON TWO

UNCOMMON CARDS

Father Knows Best State
“.”
Largest Insurance Industry: 2,302nd Largest Soda Pop Sector: 3,552nd Highest Economic Output: 4,847th
18.364 billion Thaisasians. Museums and concert halls, complete lack of prisons, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies.
SEASON ONE
Civil Rights Lovefest
“Found myself in a tunnel of light”
Most Extensive Civil Rights: 37thHighest Drug Use: 44thMost Politically Free: 63rd
7.44b262t
SEASON TWO
Democratic Socialists
“Happy happy happy”
Largest Populations: 3,093rdMost Stationary: 12,604th
25.5b761t
SEASON TWO
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
“Fellowship is life, and the lack of fellowship is death”
Largest Populations: 8,559th Highest Average Tax Rates: 13,843rd Most Stationary: 15,483rd
15.113 billion Walthamstowians. Ban on automobiles, state-planned economy, and punitive income tax rates.
SEASON ONE
Capitalist Paradise
“I didn't get elected but I made a ton of cash”
Largest Insurance Industry: 1,738th Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,604th Lowest Overall Tax Burden: 3,494th
13.918 billion Failed Politicians. Multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, rampant corporate plagiarism, and restrictive gun laws.
SEASON ONE
Father Knows Best State
“Freedom, Work, Culture”
Largest Black Market: 4,462nd Most Stationary: 7,311th Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 9,027th
12.836 billion Aztecinoshans. Anti-smoking policies, keen interest in outer space, and irreverence towards religion.
SEASON ONE
Psychotic Dictatorship
“Proletarians of All Countries, Unite!”
Most Authoritarian: 3,677thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 7,071stMost Extreme: 9,529th
14.4b587t
SEASON TWO
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Why trot when you can Waddle?”
Largest Populations: 13,223rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 14,333rdHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 15,496th
14.0b587t
SEASON TWO
Corporate Bordello
“Power to the people!”
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 3,614thLargest Populations: 14,261st
13.5b609t
SEASON TWO
Anarchy
“L'union fait la force”
Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 945thHighest Crime Rates: 1,746thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 2,666th
10.8b999t
SEASON TWO
Iron Fist Consumerists
“Gas, grass or ass; nobody rides for free”
Most Ignorant Citizens: 1,031stMost Primitive: 2,671stHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 4,094th
5.14b325t
Civil Rights Lovefest
“Idle minds are the devil's workshop.”
Highest Drug Use: 2,356thLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,896thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,022nd
6.87b909t
SEASON TWO
Iron Fist Consumerists
“Ex patria, gloria”
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 398th Most Ignorant Citizens: 556th Largest Mining Sector: 773rd
3.51 billion Alkovansk Nationalists. Parental licensing program, strictly enforced bedtime, and irreverence towards religion.
Civil Rights Lovefest
“The MT Army will save NationStates from hate!”
4.12b157t
Anarchy
“To Each, Their Own”
Rudest Citizens: 748thHighest Drug Use: 1,353rdHighest Crime Rates: 1,406th
2.95b426t
SEASON TWO
New York Times Democracy
“Liberty Through Unity”
Least Corrupt Governments: 9,919thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 15,252nd
2.39b172t
SEASON TWO
Psychotic Dictatorship
“By His Hand”
Most Authoritarian: 3,986thMost Conservative: 5,749thMost Ignorant Citizens: 5,809th
2.38b67.4t
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“I'm not fine. Please help me.”
Class
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 12,105thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 13,300th
469m39.8t
SEASON TWO

COMMON CARDS

Benevolent Dictatorship
“Let's Do This”
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 9,264thHighest Crime Rates: 9,373rd
12.2b251t
SEASON TWO
Anarchy
“Orioni”
Most Pro-Market: 12,542ndLeast Corrupt Governments: 12,662ndMost Extensive Civil Rights: 13,728th
6.62b361t
SEASON TWO
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“For alt vi har. Og alt vi er.”
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 16,172ndMost Average: 16,324th
5.25b292t
SEASON TWO
Democratic Socialists
“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's needs”
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,928th Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 3,414th Largest Welfare Programs: 3,577th
2.519 billion New Giggles Townians. Rum-swilling pirates, feral children, and ban on automobiles.
SEASON ONE
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
“Power of Defiance”
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,256th Largest Mining Sector: 11,080th Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 11,563rd
1.889 billion Gulgeans. Ubiquitous missile silos, keen interest in outer space, and national health service.
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