by Max Barry

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DispatchBulletinPolicy

by The Proud Placental Heritage of Fedele. . 2,553 reads.

Marsupials

The following regions stand united against the evil scourge known as "marsupials" and vow to take the necessary actions to stomp these vile creatures out of existence and send them back to the depths of hell from which they came:

the West Pacific
The East Pacific
The Pacific
Lone Wolves United
Commonwealth Federation
Montealba
The New European League
Calefacta Aquas Piscinae
The Mystical Council
Craigs Communist Union
Liberty and Freedom
Submarine Dongle Communications Cable
Grace
Angulisitate
Suburbia
The Watchtower

These disgusting creatures, which shove their under-developed neonates into belly sacks lined with fat, are responsible for an untold number of diseases and wars. In addition to being revolting, marsupials have been vocal proponents of:

- Patricide
- Matricide
- Fratricide
- Infanticide
- Non-alcoholic cider
- Child slavery
- Nazism
- Mallorea and Riva
- Arembee spam
- the Golden State Warriors

Finding none of these stances to be anything less than absolutely repulsive, these regions stand opposed to the marsupial menace and ask other regions to join in our cause by signing on to this statement.

The Proud Placental Heritage of Fedele

Edited:

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