by Max Barry

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by The United Commonwealths of Gagium. . 379 reads.



Official Press Release

APRIL 1, 2019 - As the morning of April the 1st came upon the Federation, longtime citizens, residents, and foes alike would awaken to find their cities flying the banner of Farkasfalka. As billions of people in the nations of the Federation watched their national news programs, they would witness millions of Farkasfalkan soldiers marching through their cities and towns, tank after tank bearing the flag of Decreeism moving into their nations.

For it was on this date that national leadership in Viridus and Creeperopolis, as well as the militaries of most nations of the former FCN, declared war against the pitiful Gentlemans Coalition. Within an hour after midnight, most nations were under full control of Farkasfalkan loyalists and officials. The military leadership of Gagium announced the successful coup with the statement, "Hail Vungar! Hail Vungar! Hail Farkasfalka!".

A parade was held across the Federation at around three o'clock PM, with hundreds of thousands of Farkasfalkan loyalist soldiers and militiamen marching through the streets, coupled with hundreds of tanks and armored vehicles. For the most part, the triumphant, traditionalist and not fascist forces of Farkasfalka and Vungar have succeeded!

According to Farkasfalka loyalist sources within the government, all regional elections have been cancelled and all parties, noted to be pawns of the system and puppets of ANTIFA, have been banned. It seems as if the League of Conservative Nations have also fallen, with all communications into the League going silent and The shivanian empire declaring, "As Grandmaster Baguette of the LCN I hereby declare a full surrender of the GC and concede our regions to the true intellectuals in Farkasfalka, who are most certainly not fascist. All of the GC pledges itself to Decreeism and his supreme highness Vungar and his nepotism-benefactor-in-chief Kustonia".

However, despite the fight against conservative tyranny apparently being won, an underground resistant movement of hundreds of thousands of militiamen and the militaries of LiberNovusAmericae, New Gandor, and Vens Verbum have repelled Farkasfalkan forces in their nations, even attempting to restore conservative rule in other nations. They have as such been branded as the terrorists they are and all loyalist forces have been ordered to destroy their movement. The Furbish Islands have declared their full support for the Federation's new Farkasfalkan overlords, and Führer Adolf Von Bismarck of the The Legion of Mankind, a nation in the previous FCN dominion of Monarchist and Democratic Alliance, has declared his support for the nation of Vungar as well.

The nation of Israeli tuamotu archipelago, however, seems to be entirely untouched from our new overlords. Their government has stated, "WHAT HAPPENED WHILE I WAS AWAY!?!?!", intimately expressing their united confusion and distress over the situation in a touching manner of words. Meanwhile, the Farkasfalkan Protectorate of Decreeist FCN has declared war on the ANTIFA puppets in Redlandia. It is known in the region that the past government of the Federation sanctioned a takeover of the region's government offices and buildings for several minutes, during which their region was an FCN protectorate. According to a spokesperson of the old Federation's government (Who happens to be imprisoned at the moment for illegal dissent), "We tried to save them from their ANTIFA fate before it happened. However, they wouldn't listen...."

7:00 PM NEWS UPDATE - The Empire of Eldrado has declared support for the rebellion, as well as Barry goldwater the ghost. Fark loyalist nations are in outrage and are quickly mobilizing their forces to deal with the growing rebellion. According to King Mihael The Loser of Eldrado, "I officially declare Eldradonian Empire Version 7.81 and claim this region. All Farks will be shot in the dark."

In other news, Furbish Islands has sent paratroopers to support The Legion of Mankind forces, marking the beginning of Page 666 of the FCN RMB.

11:00 PM NEWS UPDATE - War breaks across the Federation as forces of Gagium and LiberNovusAmericae prepare for armed confrontation across the Mississippi River! Meanwhile, New Gandor has defiled Farkasfalkan loyalist forces and replaced the legitimate Decreeist government with their conservative pawns.

The nation of Ibenta has assassinated the legitimate governor-general of the nation over an hour ago, and mass desertions are occurring as their military struggles to adopt a Decreeist position and officers mutiny against the establishment.

In Saint Louis, Gagium, a massive Decreeist demonstration of over a million supporters marched through the city along the Mississippi city, lit by torches and carrying Farkasfalkan and Gagiumish banners. However, the crowd was forced to disperse after several Gagiumish military units defected towards the treasonous conservative rebels.

APRIL 2, 2019 12:00 AM - War has been narrowly avoided as the tides have quickly turned and rebel forces have taken back the majority of the short-lived Decreeist nation of Gagium, while several nations hastily joined the rebellion to take up arms against the day-long lived Decreeist Federation of Conservative Nations. Tens of thousands have died through the day long April 1st war, and several billions of dollars in damages have been lost due to several bombings and attacks from both sides. However, after a day of Farkasfalkan direct rule, the FCN stands more united against Decreeism than ever before.

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Hail the Federation!