by Max Barry

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by The Commonwealth of Beepee. . 144 reads.

Beepee for LC.... December 2019

Please Vote for Beepee for Local Councillor

Let's jump into this elections campaign!

Hi everyone,

It's me, Beepee.

I'm running for a position in the Local Council.

I'm not very good at selling myself... but here goes.

  • I think I can bring something fun to the position with my love of bureaucracy and all things Erinor...

  • I'm all up for fun and keeping the RMB an active and interesting place.

  • I already know the rules and laws, and well, that's a pretty decent thing to know...

  • I was once a pretty average MoRA..... so I know about being average and thats good.

  • I've been here for a couple of years now so you know me and, well, you know me... maybe...

  • I recently had to protect the board from a naughty I know about not being a bad person.

  • Like your deodorant, I provide 24hr protection....I'm Australian, that means I can protect you when the Europeans and/or Americans are in bed.

  • I like to buttle and clean up your mess.

What will I do...

  • I know how to do awesome polls!

  • I know how to be really active and to keep you active!

  • I'm a wonderful host with lots of greeting skills!

  • I can update things, and can dispatch my way to your heart!

  • I can tell those in offsite what you are all thinking!

  • I can encourage you to become the best (or, if you prefer, the worst) you can be!

Remember together we are amazing... together we are unstoppable!

Vote Beepee!

Questions and Answers

Proctethia wrote:
Since you two are running for LC, I'd like to know your perspective on roleplaying.

Beepee wrote:I enjoy some light RP... who can forget my wonderful interpretation of a butler, a henchman, a disapproving goose, etc.... but I'm not keen when that's all that happens on the RMB.... I like a good mix and balance on the RMB.

Linguiniland wrote:
While I agree with your choice of religion as well as your acceptance of Erinor as God Emperor I am concerned about you lack of "buttling" being mentioned in the above dispatch. I hope you intend to correct this in any further dispatch.

Also if we are allowed to ask the candidates questions I would like to know how you would intend to sell knee braces to penguins?

Beepee wrote:Oooh yes! I do love to buttle!... I shall update the dispatch with this glorious question and, of course, buttle my way to your heart!

In respect of knee braces for penguins. I think that it's very important for all penguins to appear stiff limbed.

This accentuates the waddle making them both (1) additionally cute and (2) easier prey (to make penguin pies).

As such, intend to flood the market with knee braces (for which I will of course rely on my team of smurfs and the boards kind will) and mandate into law that all penguins must wear such braces or face severe penalties (including, but not limited to, being stuffed with marshmallow).

This course of action should allow some price gouging and additional profits to flood back to me the RMB.

Thank you for this excellent question.

Drystar wrote:Daft Tinkle, TSP Expose News, can you tell us how it feels running against Concrete Slab, who was one of your loyal minions during the Erinor delegate year?

Also, how do you respond to Zess’s allegations of you being an “encourager”.

Beepee wrote:Well Daft, those are excellent questions. I do love TSP expose news, it's such a reputable news agency.

Running against Slabbie is always interesting.

He is one of those characters that you never quite know what he's going to do next. Is he going to drop a nuclear weapon on a poor unsuspecting person or is he going to slap them with a wet fish.

It's that unpredictability that makes him so endearing to voters and such hard competition.

I have a solid platform and foundation and we'll have to see if the RMB values dependable SPIT supplies over blamanche fights.

I know the voters will once again brutalise me, of that I'm sure.

Zess's compliments are lovely.

I always encourage people to be whatever they want to be, including letting them join my smurf army if that's what they desire.

Positive reinforcement of an individuals insanity is an important way to help them reach their goals in life. Zess should remember the previous encouragement I gave in my time as MORA. I'm sure they'll want to thank me for pushing them into this spotlight.


Concrete Slab wrote:Yooooooo *hugs* I accept :D

Also, I nominate Beepee

Aidenfieeld wrote:Thank you, I accept. I would like to nominate Concrete Slab, Beepee, and The Solar System Scope.

Proctethia wrote:
I nominate Beepee and The Filippinas!

Thank you.

Conflict of Interest

I, Beepee, being of sound mind and body (at least as sound as it's ever going to be) hereby declare:

  • I am a member of the Legislator Assembly within the South Pacific and I am a member of MoRA.

  • I am a member of the World Assembly.

  • I have no affiliations with any other region.

  • I have a puppet Catenham, currently awaiting a LC Debate... I think all my other puppets have lapsed into the wilderness.

  • I am also available on discord.

  • I swear to uphold the values and principles of the South Pacific.

Erinor's tagged because he's wonderful and so he has this dispatch for EC purposes.

The Commonwealth of Beepee