Easter Egg: Suburbs Are Out of This World

The Issue
High crime rates have made the inner cities of The united american-isreali empire’s largest conurbations increasingly dangerous and undesirable places to live. The mass exodus of the middle class from city centers has escalated to the extent that the suburbs and exurbs of major cities are beginning to collide, leaving no land for expansion. In response, a group of well-to-do soccer moms are petitioning the government for funds to establish white-collar living space... on the Moon.

The Debate
“Crime is perpetually increasing,” says Chastity Elizabeth Prescott as she adjusts the sweater tied like a cape over her shoulders. “Just yesterday my little John Alexander Stuart’s after-school Bigtopianese tutor was attacked by a gang of hoodlums! Our children deserve safe housing and exactly manicured lawns no greater than two inches in grass blade height! With a sufficient colonization effort, we can commute from communities on the Moon to the industries in our big cities. You must support this—think of the children!”

Accept

“Rockets?!” shrieks noted bleeding heart Sunflower Earthchild Starbeam, pulling her knit cap more closely over her ears. “Think of the pollution, and the danger! What if there’s an accident? This cockamamie scheme must clearly be banned! And you thought cars were bad- wait! Cars ARE bad!”

Accept

“Everyone knows urban blight is caused by the flight of capital to the suburbs and exurbs,” notes the prominent left-wing economist Engelbert Pinquo. “Running away to the Moon will solve nothing. Capital, and those who have it, must be brought back to the inner city... by force if need be.”

Accept

“Stone the crows! We’re trapped between hippies, communists and soccer moms,” grumbles Vice Admiral Bharatendu Wolfe. “We need breathing room, and everyone knows there ain’t no air on the Moon! So let’s get it the old-fashioned way - by invading our neighbors! Federation of Conservative Nations will fall to the might of The united american-isreali empire!”

Accept

Citizens polled. Media probed. Headlines gathered.

The Talking Point

The entire country is an urban wasteland as the well-to-do commute from space (The united american-isreali empire has found 3 easter eggs).