Rules Of Acquisition

1 Once you have their money, you never give it back.
2 After you've exploited someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them next time.
3 Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
4 Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.
5 Exploitation begins at home.
6 Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
7 Keep your ears open.
8 Keep your eyes open.
9 Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10 Greed is eternal.
11 Why ask, when you can take?
12 A distracted policeman is an opportunity.
13 Money is everything.
14 Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
15 If that's what's written, then that's what's written.
16 A deal is a deal… Until a better one comes along.
17 A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Oerkarian.
18 A Oerkarian without profit is no Oerkarian at all.
19 Small print leads to large risk.
20 Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
21 Never place friendship above profit.
22 A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
23 Nothing is more important than your health... except for your money.
24 A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.
25 Profit is its own reward.
26 Never confuse wisdom with luck.
27 Never ask when you can take.
28 There is no substitute for success.
29 Beware of the greed for knowledge.
30 If you can't take it with you, don't go.
31 Never make fun of a Sain Coanians's mother… Insult something he cares about instead.
32 Trust is the biggest liability of all.
33 It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
34 War is good for business only from a distance, the closer to the front lines, the less profitable it gets.
35 Peace is good for business. Unless you happen to be an arms merchant.
36 Good things come in small packages
37 When it's good for business, tell the truth.
38 Profit trumps emotion.
39 Faith moves mountains... of inventory.
40 There is no honor in poverty.
41 Hope doesn't keep the lights on.
42 Everything is for sale, even friendship.
43 Even a blind man can recognize the glow of gold and the smell of money.
44 Enough... is never enough.
45 Expand or die.
46 Never trust anybody taller than you.
47 Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
48 The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
49 Only fools pay retail.
50 There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
51 People love the bartender.
52 Even when you're a customer, sell yourself.
53 Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
54 Know your enemies... but do business with them always.
55 Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
56 Learn the customer's weaknesses so you can better take advantage of them.
57 Good customers are as rare as gold. Treasure them.
58 The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
59 Free advice is seldom cheap.
60 Never cheat someone stronger than you... unless you can get away with it.
61 It's never too late to fire the staff.
62 The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
63 Risk doesn't always equal reward.
64 Vengeance will cost you everything.
65 Trouble comes in threes.
66 The justification for profit is profit.
67 Always know what you're buying.
68 Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.
69 Duck; death is tall.
70 You can't buy fate.
71 More is good... All is better.
72 Always leave yourself an out.
73 A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant a necessity.
74 Knowledge equals profit.
75 Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of money.
76 Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
77 Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
78 A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
79 When in doubt, lie.
80 If you believe it, they believe it.
81 Always be considerate.
82 When the shooting starts, get the mercenaries to handle it.
83 Time is money.
84 You get what you pay for.
85 A bargain usually isn't.
86 The more time they take deciding, the more money they will spend.
87 Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.
88 The less employees know about the cash flow, the smaller the share they can demand.
89 An angry man is an enemy, and a satisfied man is an ally.
90 Always get somebody else to do the lifting.
91 If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
92 Possession is eleven-tenths of the law.
93 Money is money, but females are better.
94 Females and finances don't mix.
95 Expand or die.
96 She can touch you, but never your money.
97 Location, location, location.
98 Every man has his price.
99 Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
100 When life gives you lemons, make money.
101 Choose no side but your own
102 Nature decays, but money lasts forever.
103 Sleep can interfere with... Opportunity.
104 Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
105 Never gamble with a cheat… Unless the cheat is you.
106 A woman wearing clothes is like a man without any profits.
107 There are many paths to profit.
108 It ain't over 'til it’s over.
109 Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
110 Always have sex with the boss.
111 Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.
112 Never have sex with the boss' sister.
113 Win or lose, there's always drugs.
114 Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it.
115 Profit is its own reward.
116 The early investor reaps the most interest.
117 Confidentiality equals profit.
118 What's in it for me?
119 He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow.
120 Dead men close no deals.
121 Sometimes the quickest way to find profits is to let them find you.
122 Always exaggerate your estimates.
123 Buy low, sell high.
124 Always hedge your bets.
125 You can't make a deal if you're dead.
126 Always account for inflation
127 If there is no demand for the supply, create the demand.
128 Money can buy happiness.
129 Always spend other’s money before your own.
130 There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
131 The lack of money is the root of all evil.
132 Never put all your money in one basket.
133 Don’t stay in bed unless you can make money in bed.
134 Honesty is the best policy-when there’s money in it.
135 Profit is sweet even if it comes from deception.
136 The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets.
137 The best way to make it rich is to start a religion.
138 The more distant your financial target, the longer inflation will gnaw at the purchasing power of your money.
139 Wives serve, brothers inherit.
140 Money saved is money earned.
141 Sometimes your best investments are the ones you don’t make.
142 It’s wrong to let a fool keep his money.
143 A fool and his money are soon parted.
144 Always cut corners to save profit.
145 The house always wins so always be the house.
146 If you can’t cheat the house then rob it.
147 A good cook cooks the books.
148 Laundered money is good money.
149 A good employee always embezzles.
150 Bribes are like butter. They taste good when you receive them but are bad for you when you give them.
151 Always take cash up front.
152 A fair deal is a bad deal.
153 Make all checks out to cash.
154 Always break your promises.
155 Bait and switch.
156 Never pull the same scam in the same place twice.
157 Always have an advanced fee.
158 Competition is good but monopoly is better.
159 Always rig the race.
160 The only art is the art of making money.
161 Money is not the only thing in the world but it is the most important thing in the world.
162 You have to spend money to make money just make sure it’s not your money you’re spending.
163 To get rich, you have to be making money while you’re asleep.
164 Anybody who thinks money can’t buy happiness hasn’t got money.
165 The only hobby worth having is one that makes you money.
166 It does not take money to make money.
167 Listen to secrets, but never repeat them.
168 Whisper your way to success.
169 If you don’t get serious about your money you will never get serious money.
170 Work smarter not harder. Better yet don’t work at all if you can help it.
171 All problems can be solved for the right price.
172 The best way to rob a bank is to own one.
173 Never test the depth of the river with both feet.
174 Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving.
175 Never depend on a single source of income, it takes many streams to make a river.
176 If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need.
177 Be the leech, but do not tolerate leeches.
178 Always be closing.
179 Only pay your employees the minimum wage.
180 Confiscate all tips from your employees.
181 Ambiguity in a contract benefits the one who did not draft it.
182 Never trust a man who has no vices.
183 Never give anything away for free. Everything has its price.
184 Anything stolen is pure profit.
185 You can’t cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try.
186 Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough.
187 If you can't break a contract, bend it.
188 Keep count of your change.
189 Instinct plus opportunity equals profit.
190 Hear all, trust nothing.
191 See all, trust nothing.
192 A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one.
193 Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
194 It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
195 When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits... kill the messenger.
196 Acting stupid is often smart.
197 Don't lie too soon after a promotion.
198 When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat.
199 Never take the last coin, but be sure to get the rest.
200 Fear makes a good business partner.
201 The vast majority of the rich in the world did not inherit their wealth; they stole it.
202 The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down.
203 New customers are like razor-toothed worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
204 If you break it, I'll charge you for it.
205 Morality is always defined by those in power.
206 When someone says "It's not the money," they're lying.
207 Talk is cheap.
208 Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer.
209 Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects.
210 Too many people can't laugh at themselves anymore.
211 Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
212 You can always buy back a lost reputation.
213 Free advertising is cheap.
214 Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
215 Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers.
216 If you see profit on a journey, take it.
217 You can't free a fish from water.
218 Money talks, but having lots of it gets more attention.
219 Only negotiate when you are certain to profit.
220 Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
221 Never argue with a loaded gun.
222 Profit has limits. Loss has none.
223 Rich men don't come to buy; they come to take.
224 Labor camps are full of people who trusted the wrong person.
225 Old age and greed will always overcome youth and talent.
226 Never bluff someone bigger than you.
227 Never admit a mistake if there's someone else to blame.
228 Rate divided by time equals profit.
229 Money lasts longer than lust.
230 Time, like money, is a highly limited commodity.
231 Take joy from profit and profit from joy.
232 Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
233 Sell first; ask questions later.
234 Never buy anything you can't sell.
235 Pursue profit; women come later.
236 Friendship is seldom cheap.
237 Don't talk shop; talk shopping.
238 A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.
239 Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
240 There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
241 Don't tell customers more than they need to know.
242 Keep your lies consistent.
243 Don't talk ship; talk shipping.
244 Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise.
245 Gamble and trade have two things in common: risk and money.
246 Never let the competition know, what you're thinking.
247 Never trust advice from a dying man; listen but don't trust.
248 Go where no man has gone before; where there is no reputation there is profit.
249 Don't discriminate. The most unlikely people can create the best customers.
250 If it works, sell it. If it works well, sell it for more. If it doesn't work, quadruple the price and sell it as an antique.
251 A smart customer is not a good customer.
252 Death takes no bribes.
253 When the boss comes to dinner, it never hurts to have the wife wear something.
254 Mine is better than ours.
255 He who drinks fast pays slow.
256 Beware of small expenses: a small leak will kill a ship.
257 If you would keep a secret from an enemy, don't tell it to a friend.
258 Profit is the better part of valor.
259 Never trust a wise man.
260 Everything that has no owner, needs one.
261 Money is never made. It is merely won or lost.
262 Wise men don't lie, they just bend the truth.
263 Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for money.
264 Never sleep with the boss's wife unless you pay him first.
265 A friend is only a friend until you sell him something. Then he is a customer.
266 As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.
267 Never cheat an honest man offering a decent price.
268 Buy, sell, or get out of the way.
269 There's always a way out.
270 Everything is for sale, even friendship.
271 Friendship is temporary, profit is forever.
272 A lie isn't a lie until someone else knows the truth.
273 A lie isn't a lie, it's just the truth seen from a different point of view.
274 We are not responsible for the stupidity of others.
275 Never trust your customers.
276 Never trust a beneficiary.
277 If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.
278 There's always a catch.
279 The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.
280 The sharp knife cuts quickly. Act without delay!
281 Necessity is the mother of invention. Profit is the father.
282 Law makes everyone equal, but justice goes to the highest bidder.
283 Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive. Fair play and financial loss go hand-in-hand.
284 Always ask for the costs first.
285 No good deed ever goes unpunished.
(The unwritten rule) When no appropriate rule applies, make one up.