The Tale of Maximus Berrius and the Village of NSG

Here's a link to the Mzeusian Library which has every dispatch.

Here's a link to The Dispatch Writing Guide to help you write a good dispatch.

This is the story of Maximus Berrius and the village of NSG.

One day, in the ancient, glorious and tranquil land of Maxtopia, a handsome, bald-headed figure sat on a mountain. That figure was the God Maximus Berrius. Yes, in our modern world, we think it odd for deities to have first names and surnames, but in Ancient Maxtopia, it was quite normal.

Maximus Berrius liked watching the people who had wandered into Maxtopia. One day, however, after Barbecue Season was over, and Surfing Season had not yet begun, Maximus Berrius was bored.

When he had done some thinking, Maximus Berrius donned his finest toga and applied his very best bald head shining-cream. He descended from his mountain home and visited a bustling village not far away. The village, called NSG by the people, was not a place Maximus Berrius knew much about. In other words, it was perfectly suited for a test. Although his shiny head caught the sun and would have made him very visible, Maximus Berrius took care to shield himself from view. He then took a shovel from the nearest house, and dug a pit in the middle of the village. He had to be quick about it, because he caught the smell of his godly offerings already being sent to his mountain. Despite his haste, however, the pit was of excellent quality. Maximus Berrius snuck away unnoticed.

A little while later, Maximus Berrius was eating dinner from his mountain, watching the village of NSG. A crowd had gathered by the pit.

"It's a good pit!" someone yelled. This made Maximus Berrius smile.

"Yes, it is," another person said. "Who dug it?"

When nobody stepped forward to claim the honour of having dug the masterful pit, it became public property and the question of what to do with it fell to the village elders.

"We could plant a tree in it, and the tree would give fruit to all the village," one elder said.

"No," said another, who was allergic to fruit. "We should dump our sewage in that pit. It is the perfect pit for the job."

With these two options presented, the elders discussed their respective merits and pitfalls long into the night. All the while, Maximus Berrius watched with increasing anticipation. His dinner of goat offerings had gone cold hours ago and breakfast had not yet been sent up but he did not care.

After intense lobbying from the Anti-Fruit Lobby, it was decided that the pit would be used for sewage, and that same day the village's stores were dumped into the pit. The pit was closed up and forgotten about. Maximus Berrius, from atop his mountain, shook his head in sadness. He hung up his toga, put away his beard cream, and even when surfing season rolled around, his surfboard did not leave the closet. He just sat there, staring at what they had done to his pit. Then, with a sigh, he stamped his foot. The sewage from the pit rose up and spilled into village, and as Maximus Berrius turned away, the sewage continued to flow all over the village.