Baseball Replaces Wildcatball as the National Sport

Children are encouraged to play baseball instead of Wildcatball. It costs much less as a
sport and fewer injuries, unless you are allowing Chase Utley to play with you.

No teams are allowed to be called Mets, because that is a personal insult, like calling someone else a loser.

The national team is called the Petsmart Yankees, and each member of the team is to be worshiped. Only the best players will be allowed on the team and the Yankees will be the
only team supported with a federal tax to insure each player is the best available that
season. Baseball unions are allowed. Not all players have to play for the Yankees. They
will be the highest paid, but dont have to be the best team.

Petsmart Yankee players are allowed to be seated first, get best parking, and each citizen
bows to them if any of them are within ten feet of you.