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by The Democratic Island Federation of Frieden-und Freudenland. . 26 reads.

Update on the Kolaxa Sea Pollution

To the Attention of the General Public.

The SAR-equipped ships sent from our allies have joined our search team 12 days ago. Since then we have been rigorously searching the ocean floor for clues about a meteor that presumably brought the mysterious algae species to the Kolaxa Sea.

We were also alarmed by the news that the captain of a ship from Caracasus has spotted shiny, slimy, green, and seemingly ''alive'' substances on their equipment and in the sea.

The first weeks of our search were quite uneventful. But for the last 5 days, we have been making some interesting discoveries.

5 days ago, we have been contacted by an amateur helicopter pilot from Mozworld, James Filbert, who had been following our updates about the pollution. He told us with great enthusiasm that he has been flying with his helicopter over the Kolaxa Sea regularly for the last 10 years, and it was only yesterday that he noticed a peculiar, dark, round hole on the bottom of the sea off the coast of Mozworld. He also added that he could not discern very well what was under the sea, as a storm was about to break out on that day and the sea was already murky and choppy.

Upon receiving this intelligence, our search teams have rushed to the spot indicated by Mr. Filbert. We were amazed by what we saw there.

There really seemed to be a big hole on the ocean floor!

Our helicopters then took a close-up photo.

At this point we were almost certain that we found the spot where the notorious meteor had crushed into the Kolaxa Sea a few weeks ago. We have immediately sent some research ships there.

Our experienced frogmen have dived into the water and scooped some sand from the walls of what seemed to be a very deep underwater pit. Our geologists have examined the specimens on board, and have quickly determined that the hole must have appeared very recently.

One question baffles us though.

If this hole was made by a meteor crash, where is the meteor?

The circular hole is about 300 meters across and 124 meters deep.

Our expert geologist, Dr. Ursula Kaufmann, estimates that the meteor that created this massive hole must have been gigantic indeed --- weighing about 500 tonnes!

Where is that meteor now?

The circumstantial evidence shows that the meteor fell into the water very recently, so there was not enough time for natural forces to erode it anyway. It is too heavy to be displaced by ocean currents, especially if we consider that the ocean currents off the coast of Mozworld are particularly weak.

Did someone remove the meteor?

If it had been trailed along the ocean floor, we would have detected elongated trails on the sand.

There was none.

The alternative theory we have come up with is even more stupefying.

What if the ''meteor'' moved by itself? What if it was not a meteor to start with?

We are perfectly aware that this sounds like a crazy conspiracy theory, but maybe you will change your mind if you look at this picture taken by one of our divers.

To be honest, these beautiful lines on the ocean floor are too ordered to be the imprint of a crude meteor.

Whatever landed at this spot must have been ''designed'' by an intelligent being, though as serious scientists we do not want to speculate about this issue and create occasion for Ufologists to declare their uninformed opinions on such an important matter and confuse people with their flights of fancy, especially when public health is at stake.

In addition to that, following up on reports from Caracasus, we were also on the lookout for any bright green substance that could catch our attention. We have not been able to detect any green substance, but yesterday one of our researchers who stood guard on the deck while the rest of the team was sleeping has noticed some small bright blue lights on the shores of the atolls surrounding the ''meteor hole'' and photographed them.

We suspect that this is a good case of bioluminescence, though further research is certainly needed to verify this conjecture.

Professor Jeremy Smith, the leader of the research team of Marine Studies Center, Worcestershire University