His Holy Highness Bawrai

Titles and styles

His full style as Emperor is ''His Imperial Majesty Holy Highness the Legend of Bawrai the Great, by the Grace of God, the all-powerful warrior, Shining Star of Holy Empire, Defender of the Faith, Ever-Victorious, Iron-Willed Commander, Great Man, Who Descended From Heaven, Guiding Star of the Twenty-First Century, Emperor of Holy Empire of Bawrai by the will of the Bawraian people.''

Bawraian honours

KG: Knight of the Garter,
KT: Knight of the Thistle,
KP: Knight of St Patrick,
GCSB: Knight Grand Commander of the Star of Bawrai,
GCMG: Knight Grand Cross of St Michael and St George,
GCBE: Knight Grand Commander of the Bawraian Empire,
GCBO: Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Bawrai Order,
ISO: Imperial Service Order,
RBC: Royal Bawraian Chain,
PC: Privy Counsellor.

Military appointments

Admiral, Royal Bawraian Navy
Admiral of the Fleet, Royal Navy
Field Marshal, Royal Bawraian Army
Chief of the Royal Air Force
Colonel-in-Chief of the Royal Marine Forces

Foreign honours

KOE: Knight of the Order of the Elephant,
OD: Order of the Dannebrog,
KOS: Knight of the Order of the Seraphim,
COC: Collar of the Order of Chehapien,
KOGF: Knight of the Order of the Golden Fleece,
KOSH: Knight of the Order of Saint Hubert,
KOMHA: Knight of the Order of the Most Holy Annunciation,
KOSA: Knight of the Order of St. Andrew,
KOBE: Knight of the Order of the Black Eagle,
KORC: Knight of the Order of the Rue Crown,
GCORE: Grand Cross of the Order of the Red Eagle,
GCOWF: Grand Cross of the Order of the White Falcon,
GCOR: Grand Cross of the Order of the Redeemer,
CL: Cross of Liberty, 1st class,
OBCE: Order of the Bawraian Colonial Empire.

Honorary foreign military appointments

Admiral of the Fleet of the Earthan Navy
Colonel-in-Chief of the Rhenish Cuirassier
Honorary Colonel of the Infantry Regiment

Honorary degrees and offices

Doctor of Civil Law (DCL), Prince's University, New Kent
Doctor of Laws (LLD), University of CB
Chancellor of the University of Hope Town
Chancellor of the University of Duencter

On every continent in the world, there is a country named after him. Mosquitos refuse to bite him purely out of respect. In museums, he is allowed to touch the art. If he were to punch you in the face, you would have to fight off the urge to thank him. Once, a rattlesnake bit him. After five days of excruciating pain, the snake finally died. If he were to mispronounce your name, you would feel compelled to change it. If he were to pat you on the back, you would list it on your CV. He does not always drink water, but when he does the whole world wishes they could have one with him. He is considered a national treasure in countries he’s never visited. He is the life of parties that he has never attended. Even his tree houses have fully finished basements. His organ donation card also lists his hairs. Time waits on no one, but him. While swimming off the coast of Australia, he once scratched the underbelly of the Great White Shark with his right hand. When in Rome, they do as HE does. Nine countries went to war to dispute HIS nationality. His shadow has been on the ‘best dressed’ list five times. Batman watches Saturday morning cartoons about him. He has turned vampires vegetarian. His sweat is the cure for the common cold. His tears can cure cancer, too bad he never cries. If he were to visit the dark side of the moon, it wouldn’t be dark. When he meets the Pope, the Pope kisses his ring. He can speak French in Russian. Even his enemies list him as their emergency contact number. He has been known to cure narcolepsy just by walking into the room. When it is raining, it is because he is thinking of something sad. He wouldn’t be afraid to show his feminine side if he had one. His reputation is expanding faster than the universe. If he were to give you directions you would never get lost and arrive at least 5 minutes early. Regardless of temperature you can never see his breath. Years ago he Built city of of blocks – today over 1,123,608,091 people live and work there. His blood smells like cologne. Hurting him only makes him more desirable. He’s Santa’s Secret Santa. Aliens asked him to take over their planet. His legend proceeds him the way lighting proceeds thunder.