by Max Barry

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DispatchFactbookPolitics

by The waaa. . 76 reads.

The East WAcific (OUTDATED)

Due to the hostility of other slightly more militarily advanced nations, the Republic of the Waaa has decided to take a lesser role in the politics of their region of the East Pacific. But do not worry ever enduring fans. The Cunning and Mighty Waluigi will bring the Waaa back into power. He will develop many unsuspecting allies, and when the time is right, they will all see the true power of the Strong and Victorious Waluigi! Wahaha!

Alas the time has come! With our military world census score greatly outranking the main aggressor to the peace of our nation, the Clever and Influential Waluigi has decided to reclaim our place in the world. After a fledgling nation attacked Indonesia, damaging and destroying many of our factories, we decided to have our way with them. Unfortunately, our enemy Kilkire decided to get involved, and in the process insulted the Wise and Beloved Waluigi and threatened the security of the Waaa, despite having a clearly weaker military. Our forgiving leader, instead of crushing the forces of Kilkire under his orange, pointed shoe, decided to give them another chance, but clearly warned that a further insult and threat would force us to challenge their erroneous claim of having a superior military. The attacks nevertheless continued, leading the Brave and Strong Waluigi to declare war as promised. While a few immediately jumped to the side of Kilkire, despite the Waaa claiming that no allies were to be involved, our leader was able to diplomatically discuss why aiding the foolish, war mongering nation was foolish and cowardly, and persuaded the opposition to not interfere and let the fair fight continue, as Kilkire was clearly asking for war. The result of this war is as of yet unknown, but with the Waaa’s grossly superior forces, victory is more than likely, if that is, the cowardly Kilkire chooses to battle honorably without hiding behind their more powerful allies. Let this be a lesson that if one wants to act big and powerful, they should at least be able to back up their claim.

The waaa

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