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by The Holy Empire of The Onigiri Enclave. . 22 reads.

Oh My!! It Oatland Time Baby!! Our 2020 Summer Games Application!!

The Onigiri Enclave's Entry to the 2020 Oatland Regional Summer Games

~Start Broadcast~

*July 3rd, 2020, 2:17 - Lord Nanfoodle is sitting at his desk, clammy, AC blasting in his office in the executive mansion of The Onigiri Enclave, Subarashī Koya, when...*

Lord Nanfoodle:
*dripping in sweat "13°C at two in the morning? What fresh hell is this?! Next person that comes up to me and tries to deny climate change is a thing I'm booting off the balcony 300 style. It'll be worth my free murder..."

~He looks through his e-mail until he sees buried in his inbox the reminder for the 2020 Oatland Summer Games~

Lord Nanfoodle:
"Oh right, those are coming up again. Ah, can't wait to relax a little and enjoy some biathlon..."

Yujimei Natsume:
*sweating quite a bit* "You DO know that the reminder for the SUMMER games, right?"

~Awkward silence~

Nanfoodle:
"...FU-!!"

~Sudden jump cut to an hour later and a heavily disheveled & sweaty Nanfoodle and Natsume, joined by a jade colored unicorn mare, The Onigiri Enclave's Secretary of Research Data Breach~

Nanfoodle:
"Hey folks!! Oatland time again, but this time they're cursed, because it's the games they play when it's stupid hot outside!!"

Yujimei:
"That's right, it's the 2020 Oatland Summer Games!! Summer!! That season we love, love, LOVE so much!!"
*left eye psychotically twitching as sweat rolls down forehead*

Data Breach:
"Why am I here again?"

Nanfoodle:
"Well, we're on a serious time crunch to put this announcement out to the folks, so we need some help on this, plus you'll be going with our athletes as The Onigiri Enclave's head representitive this go around. I mean, you're a weirdo that doesn't hate the sun and stuff, so you'll be at home doing this."

Yujimei:
"Also, <bleep> you, that's why."

Nanfoodle:
"That was rude, Yujimei."

Yujimei:
*clearly mad* "I'm still livid those security guards in Aclion seized my OVER 308,000 KNIVES, 9000 SWORDS, 2700 HATCHETS, AND MY FAVORITE SHARPENED SPOON. I didn't get to murder a single person while I was there for the Winter Games, and they still haven't given them back to me either."

Nanfoodle:
"Well, as Yujimei pointed out, I have no desire to go back, and she's on a travel ban list, so we need someone new to go in our stead."

Yujimei:
*surly tone* "Tell me again, why DON'T you want to go back to Oatland?"

Nanfoodle:
*sounds of horror, war, explosions, and screams eventually joined with the sounds of boiling water and rice being cooked fill Nanfoodle's mind along with screams of himself pending off psychotic possums under an underpass as has that "Everything's Fine" face* "Nothing happened. Nothing at all. I sold giant hats."

Yujimei:
*completely ignored Nanfoodle* "Before we discuss the athletes in detail, let's get a quick primer for those of you at home that may be too busy to watch the entire press junket, or just aren't interested in the all the schmaltz like I am."

Events We Will Be Participating In:
Penny Neuworth (♀) returns to head our diving team, joined by newcomer Splash Mountain (♀)(¬).
Our rifle shooting team shrank by one this year, but the two that are repping us are familiar faces from last year, Melissa Edgeworth (♀) and Deidre Pall (♀).
Just like last year, we couldn't find a single Riceball crazy enough to want to schvitz under the hot sun in the middle of the day doing ten different track and field events, not for a lack of asking. Trust us, when we explained the Oatland Games schedule, we got plenty of colorful comments and gestures, and one recruiter was straight up shot in the foot when she heard the news. I told you, we Onigiri and sun... we don't get along.
In gymnastics, the other half of the Neuworth sibling duo returns as well, Kiki Neuworth (♀), along with her fellow 2019 teammates Desiree Jenkins (♀), Lotus Free Water (♀), and sole male gymnast Horse Renoit (♂).
Weightlifting sees two familiar faces from last year, Jonah Fawkes (♂) and Lena Papadapolis (♀), joined by fresh face and up-and-comer Poko Taru (♀)(բ)(₡).
A new face takes the reins in our equestrian division, Violet Gold (♀)(Ԅ).
Swimming finds our roster rather unchanged as both Hilde Crouse (♀) and Hyacinth Zestango (♀)(Ԅ) return for one more go.
When we sent out requests for archery tryouts, needless to say this outdoor event got some... savory responses. In other words, no takers.
Fencing seems to have become go to national specialty, helped by gold medal winner Kenji Shiwatora (♂), and is joined by Oatland Games veteran st33l (Ɽ) and newcomer Karen Yeetmeister (♀).
For our new event, sailing we have a couple of... *video is released by Aclion of the event mid-news junket* wait... what is that? We're getting texts from our applicants? They said in a joint statement, "Wait, they expect them to <bleep> all what in the <bleep> <bleep> hot ass sun?! <bleep> that." Hmmm... Guess we don't have a sailing team then either.

Symbol Legend:
Symbol Legend:
(♂) = Male
(♀) = Female
(Ԅ) = Mermaid
(բ) = Nekomimi
(¬) = Pegasus Pony
(₡) = Cyborg
(Ɽ) = Robot

Sport Name listed in this color is our national specialty.

The Onigiri Enclave's Uniforms:
[spoiler=Uniform Shirt]
This is the uniform shirt all our athletes will be wearing:
This is the uniform shorts MOST of our athletes will be wearing:
This is the uniform skirt worn by our two mermaid participants this years, as wearing the conventional shorts is out of the question for them:

Our National Anthem is still Link"Progenies of the Great Apocalypse"

...and finally, of course, this is our Team Logo and our National Flag:

Data Breach:
"Sometimes, with how much the typical Riceball hates heat and sunlight, I wonder why we even bother with the summer games at all?"

Yujimei:
"Because... vampire!!"

Nanfoodle:
"Now that we have that settled, who do we have?"

Data Breach:
"Well, my notes show that 23 year old Penny Neuworth from Lapis Lazuli has qualified again for these year's games, though she did decline an interview for some reason. However, the big news is our newcomer Splash Mountain, a 27 year-old pegasus mare out of Shimmering Shoots that..."

Yujimei:
*drenched in sweat, sitting in front of two fans while holding a handheld fan with her tail* "OH MY GOD WHO CARES!!!" *takes out tablet and begins reading from it angrily* "LOOK, SPLASH MOUNTAIN, 27, PEGASUS, DIVER, FROM SHIMMERING SHOOTS, NEXT!! GOT MELISSA EDGEWORTH, 20, MARKSWOMAN, FROM SILK SARDONYX, AND DEIDRE PALL, 30, CRAZY SWAMP LADY, FROM OUTSIDE TUFAHIJE CITY. TRAINED TOGETHER WITH BRIGADIER GENERAL HABERDASH AND THE SHOOTERS OF FISHY APPLES. NEXT!! SAME <bleep> GYMNASTS AS LAST TIME TIME, NO ONE CARES!! NEXT!! HERE YOU GOT VIOLET GOLD, 37 YEAR OLLD MERMAID EQUESTRIAN FROM OPALESCENCE!! NEXT!! GOT MORE OF SAME ON THE SWIMMING TEAM, THAT'S WHAT GOOGLE WAS INVENTED FOR. NEXT!! NOW YOU GOT KENJI SHIWATORI, AGE 25, OUT OF MOONSHINE GRAVY, WHO MUST THINK HE'S BIG <bleep> WINNING THAT MEDAL LAST YEAR, AND THEN YOU GOT THESE TWO <bleep> JOINING HIM!!" *throws tablet at Data Breach's face* "THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT!! NOW, GO DO THE THING, AND WHILE YOU'RE THERE, GET MY KNIVES BACK OR I'LL REALLY LOSE!! OH, AND FIX THE <bleep> A/C!! I SWEAR PEOPLE ARE ACTIVELY CONSPIRING TO KEEP ME FROM GETTING MY KNIVES BACK!!"

Nanfoodle:
*awash in sweat, leaning in, whispering to Data Breach* "You should go ahead and take the delegation to Oatland. I'll try to calm her down. However, whatever you do, don't get those knives, mostly because... we're actively conspiring to keep her fromgetting knives back. Personally, I like not getting randomly stabbed by my Secretary of Defense, don't you? You go do this, I try to keep her from accidentally an apocalyplse, and I'll make sure you get your paycheck doubled, okay?"

Data Breach:
"...............Fine."

~End of Broadcast~

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