by Max Barry

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«12. . .3,2943,2953,2963,2973,2983,2993,300. . .8,7238,724»

Zapatian workers state

The Grimm Reaper wrote:THEY SHOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD!

...THEN AGAIN, IN 8 WEEKS TIME THINGS NOT STAYING DEAD WILL BE COMMONPLACE.

Well you're a unique one

Loftegen 2

I always thought the annual Halloween zombiefest had zombies similar to those from 28 days later. I mean, how else could you cure them if they're literally corpses?

Loftegen 2

Adelsin wrote:Sneyland maybe this Android can serve another purpose. We do need a third moose farm hand....

not sure if it's able to do basic labor work? :/

Also, we're running low on moose meat again. We need to start promoting love again. Those Rocky and Bullwinkle moviez aren't helping.

:/

Loftegen 2

Adelsin wrote:Sneyland can you please open the baby moose petting zoo? And give our visitors baby bottles to feed teh moose. :)

Android sneyland can you please follow me into that barn over there? Yea... that dark barn on the edge of the farm.

*reloads shotgun*

e____e don't worry, it'll be short.

Ok. *opens petting zoo*

Treadwellia and Loftegen 2

Android sneyland

Adelsin wrote:Sneyland can you please open the baby moose petting zoo? And give our visitors baby bottles to feed teh moose. :)

Android sneyland can you please follow me into that barn over there? Yea... that dark barn on the edge of the farm.

*reloads shotgun*

e____e don't worry, it'll be short.

Ok.

Trumppuppets and Loftegen 2

e___e *cries as he walks Android sneyland into the barn*

*two loud shots and sparks of light come out of the barn*

Loftegen 2

The copper states

Guys, I think something is wrong with the cloning factory! There is a broken container on the floor, and meat pies everywhere... Could it be?..

Treadwellia, Your imaginary friend, and Loftegen 2

Android treadwellia

*beep* *boop* *hrmph*

What is this? Where am I? Anyway, I HUNGER FOR MOR PIE! BRING IT TO ME TO BE YUMMY IN BIG FAT TUMMY!

Treadwellia, Your imaginary friend, and Loftegen 2

The copper states

Treadwellia

I'm so sorry i'm so sorry please don't kick me out of the region I'll find a way to fix this.

Treadwellia and Loftegen 2

The copper states

Guys this is really out of control...

Loftegen 2

The copper states

Aigania, please, I need your help. How do you stop a runaway android who devours every meat pie in his way? And on bürek day too!

Treadwellia, Your imaginary friend, and Loftegen 2

Android sneyland

Adelsin wrote:e___e *cries as he walks Android sneyland into the barn*

*two loud shots and sparks of light come out of the barn*

beep boop what is wrong?

Loftegen 2

The copper states wrote:Aigania, please, I need your help. How do you stop a runaway android who devours every meat pie in his way? And on bürek day too!

Lace the next pie with something lethal to androids.

Your imaginary friend and Loftegen 2

Mzeusia wrote:Lace the next pie with something lethal to androids.

We in the Imperium of Leonism recommend high-powered Lasers...

Treadwellia, Your imaginary friend, Mzeusia, and Loftegen 2

Oi! Alt Rock isn't weird! :/

Jk. Good poll! :)

Treadwellia, Your imaginary friend, and Loftegen 2

The copper states

Mzeusia wrote:Lace the next pie with something lethal to androids.

bu..b... but that's inhumane! Yes, it brings wanton destruction, but it just doesn't know any better! I'll try to lace the pies with an electroconduit that will shut it down for a time.

Treadwellia and Loftegen 2

Android treadwellia wrote:*beep* *boop* *hrmph*

What is this? Where am I? Anyway, I HUNGER FOR MOR PIE! BRING IT TO ME TO BE YUMMY IN BIG FAT TUMMY!

Tubbius frowns and mmphs as He views images and listens to audio of this android on the TubbNet. It's not nearly plump enough, and it speaks actual words rather than Treadwellian mmphs!

His Adiposity sighs and shakes His head, setting jowls jiggling beneath His beard. Meat pies, though, are delicious, so He sends in an order to His cooks for meat pies to be First Breakfast.

Loftegen 2

Android sneyland

Adelsin

What are these metal things that have just ricocheted off my metallic hull? Is it money? Snacks?

The copper states add some gray mushroom perfume! That always knocks me right out!

Treadwellia and The copper states

The copper states

Android sneyland wrote:Adelsin

What are these metal things that have just ricocheted off my metallic hull? Is it money? Snacks?

The copper states add some gray mushroom perfume! That always knocks me right out!

Thanks! You are truly one of my greatest creations yet!

Treadwellia and Loftegen 2

The copper states

And so it happened. Storming into another fair, the android Tubbius wolfs down a stand of meat pies with a "For Tubbius" sign on it, when a sharp odour hits him. Oh no, grey mushrooms, how yucky! This leaves him dazed, allowing for the conduits to take effect and knock him out. He has then been put in a velvet-lined crate for comfort (and breathing holes, of course), after which he was sent to Treadwellia for re-education.

Treadwellia, Loftegen 2, and Leonism

The copper states wrote:And so it happened. Storming into another fair, the android Tubbius wolfs down a stand of meat pies with a "For Tubbius" sign on it, when a sharp odour hits him. Oh no, grey mushrooms, how yucky! This leaves him dazed, allowing for the conduits to take effect and knock him out. He has then been put in a velvet-lined crate for comfort (and breathing holes, of course), after which he was sent to Treadwellia for re-education.

And thus will this android Tubbius be opened up and reprogrammed by the Toddling Toymaker Himself to ensure a slightly less enthusiastic and dangerous approach. Civility is necessary, as is speaking and understanding proper Mmph and Hrm speech! The Android Tubbius is then gently disrobed, bathed, and clothed in old, brown coveralls about six Tubbs too small for His Obesity that happen to fit the android nicely.

Mmph mmph mmph MMPH? Tubbius asks His robot counterpart on turning Him back on. Are you all right, RoboTubbius?

Loftegen 2, Leonism, and The copper states

Android sneyland

The copper states wrote:Thanks! You are truly one of my greatest creations yet!

creation

Loftegen 2

The copper states

Android sneyland wrote:creation

Don't get cocky now! *pushes button on remote*

Loftegen 2

Android treadwellia

Treadwellia wrote:And thus will this android Tubbius be opened up and reprogrammed by the Toddling Toymaker Himself to ensure a slightly less enthusiastic and dangerous approach. Civility is necessary, as is speaking and understanding proper Mmph and Hrm speech! The Android Tubbius is then gently disrobed, bathed, and clothed in old, brown coveralls about six Tubbs too small for His Obesity that happen to fit the android nicely.

Mmph mmph mmph MMPH? Tubbius asks His robot counterpart on turning Him back on. Are you all right, RoboTubbius?

"I... I don't understand", he mutters. The mmphs and hrmphs call deep inside his soul, to the construction of his tubbial microchip, and he understands the man means him no harm, but he still has much to learn. He tries to make contact and makes some proper hrmphs of his own:

Hurmphh? Mph ooph mph rhpmph?

Treadwellia, Your imaginary friend, Loftegen 2, and The copper states

Altenburg Independent News

The first major contingent of observers from Leonism arrived in Loftegen 2 today, to participate in the upcoming Exercise Schedule. A Defense Ministry spokeswoman stated that the Leonists will be dispersed according to their particular professional skills to bases around the capital for orientation and training. Members of all branches of the Imperial armed forces will be taking part: Heer (army), Luftwaffe (air force), Raumwaffe (space force), and Marine (navy). Presumably the Raumwaffe personnel will be posted to ABM batteries and regional aeropace defence centers. It is unclear exactly what the naval personnel will be doing, though rumors (which we are working to confirm or refute) suggest that they are mostly aviators, and so will be assigned to Air Force units.

A significant number of staff officers will also be on hand in various national command posts, and all of them will take a short course at the War College on how to plan and target a nuclear strike before Schedule begins.

The enemy for the exercise will, as usual, be Orange, whose 'location' and general capabilities will announced in a few days. Orange's exact capabilities have probably already been determined, based on the problems the General Staff want to explore. We can expect a series of mood setting 'news' dispatches in the run up to the start of Schedule, probably starting the 1st of September.

Altenburg Air Force Base

Being co-located with the nation's largest airport had some advantages. The problem of billeting a thousand Leonist military personnel, prior to them dispersing to various bases around the country, had been a poser. A tent city had been considered but ruled out. Ultimately the government simply requisitioned one of the larger hotels at the airport, with generous compensation given to displaced civilians, and used it as a temporary barracks to supplement the limited space available on base. The hotel's restaurants would provide three meals a day at no cost to the Leonists, and the whole place, including its outdoor recreation facilities, would become a military installation closed to the general public. This arrangement was only expected to last a couple of weeks at most, but in the meantime it was a handy solution.

Technology Today Webzine

In view of the impending arrival of a thousand or so non-English speaking soldiers from the Leonist Empire, translation specialists Babel, Inc. announced a new app capable of translating spoken German into spoken English and vise versa, as well as the usual printed text. Babel states that the user dictates what they want to say, and the app will then repeat it in the other language. For now the app can only translate Standard (High) German into Standard Loftegen 2 English, but work to enable other dialects and slang is ongoing. The app is said to work with all smart phones, and Babel has offered to provide every Leonist taking part in Exercise Schedule with a phone preloaded with their own and other useful apps.

Your imaginary friend and Leonism

«12. . .3,2943,2953,2963,2973,2983,2993,300. . .8,7238,724»

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