by Max Barry

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«12. . .4,2114,2124,2134,2144,2154,2164,217. . .5,0515,052»

hallo humans, me would wish for a earl grey to help with the pain *gives six rocks painted like cookies*

Can I get a bottle of jack daniels

rearranges sauerkraut on the head, takes seat on stool

hmmmm Much better, must save some for my trusty slingshot.

A glass of cognac please.

Ultra Grandia Sebastia wrote:Hellö åll!! I'll buy a round of salmiakki shots!

Songs you dont understand wrote:Give me blood pudding

YouTube Inc wrote:me would wish for a earl grey to help with the pain

United rednecks of the world wrote:Can I get a bottle of jack daniels

The Knight who says Pickles wrote:A glass of cognac please.

Sheesh! We haven't had this many customers at once since the Shriners came to town for that convention thing. I wonder if they're out on bail yet?

I also hope someone remembered to wash the glasses, or we'll have to start "recycling."

Yo, paging Duncan the delivery doggo and Arcticfoxxo!--Orders up!

Brocklandia wrote:Sheesh! We haven't had this many customers at once since the Shriners came to town for that convention thing. I wonder if they're out on bail yet?

I also hope someone remembered to wash the glasses, or we'll have to start "recycling."

Yo, paging Duncan the delivery doggo and Arcticfoxxo!--Orders up!

Guess now is a bad time to order seven metric tonnes of maple syrup...
Good thing I brought my own, eh!
*Chugs maple syrup while watching the chaos and mass hilarity that is this bar*

Brocklandia, Ultra Grandia Sebastia, and Duncan the delivery doggo

Maple Hockey Canadia wrote:Guess now is a bad time to order seven metric tonnes of maple syrup...
Good thing I brought my own, eh!
*Chugs maple syrup while watching the chaos and mass hilarity that is this bar*

*Tosses you a I.V. kit*

Zombie Penguins wrote:The weekend poetry contest has begun! Kissinger-Monroe will be judging sonnets.

*Ahem!* Presenting an experimental sonnet entitled "But I'll Also Accept First":

This is not a sonnet
No, far from it
Sure, it's got a fine
number of lines

And stanzas too
But even you
know this is not a sonnet
So admit, dammit,

That I deserve Third Place
No other in the race
Give me Third Place
Or I'll frown at your face

Besides, tradition
Is just peer pressure from dead people

looks around, goes behind bar pours himself a glass of cognac. Leaves money for King Crab Cashier

Brocklandia and Tercania islands

The Knight who says Pickles wrote:looks around, goes behind bar pours himself a glass of cognac. Leaves money for King Crab Cashier

Hey! This isn't a self-service establishment! You should ...

*Sees the label on the "cognac" bottle the Knight just poured from*

... uh, probably head for the stomach pumps right away.

Thanks for the submitted sonnets to those who submitted. About 12 hours left to submit more!

Du pres

Kissinger-Monroe wrote:Thanks for the submitted sonnets to those who submitted. About 12 hours left to submit more!

Because I'm a postmodernist and an experimentalist at heart, in addition to being a jerk, let's disassemble and reassemble another sonnet, this one entitled "Screw You, Wordsworth."
(William Wordsworth wrote that annoying lyric poem "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud.")
_____

My shadow mask was running thin so I applied a layer
To my face to make communication still seem okay
But found myself using a napkin to wipe up the drips and
Slipping on the residue and falling onto the concrete.

I looked up and saw eyes staring at me, asking questions.
I didn't know what to say so I looked past them.
Unfocused and refocused on the clouds passing
Above their heads. They were moving fast.

So was I. Sometimes
I wish I was the sky
Instead of the clouds.
Then things wouldn't seem

So
Rushed.

Du pres

Brocklandia wrote:*Ahem!* Presenting an experimental sonnet entitled "But I'll Also Accept First":

so to clarify you want 3rd but you subbmited a second poem that you'd be happy if that gets first?

Brocklandia wrote:Sheesh! We haven't had this many customers at once since the Shriners came to town for that convention thing. I wonder if they're out on bail yet?

I also hope someone remembered to wash the glasses, or we'll have to start "recycling."

Yo, paging Duncan the delivery doggo and Arcticfoxxo!--Orders up!

oh

Duncan the delivery doggo

Brocklandia wrote:Sheesh! We haven't had this many customers at once since the Shriners came to town for that convention thing. I wonder if they're out on bail yet?

I also hope someone remembered to wash the glasses, or we'll have to start "recycling."

Yo, paging Duncan the delivery doggo and Arcticfoxxo!--Orders up!

Wooof woof (Translation) Guess im going for a run. *Duncan runs to all the people giving them their orders.

Maple Hockey Canadia wrote:Guess now is a bad time to order seven metric tonnes of maple syrup...
Good thing I brought my own, eh!
*Chugs maple syrup while watching the chaos and mass hilarity that is this bar*

WOOF WOOOF (Translation) ALSO STOP CHUGGING MAPLE SYRUP JEEZ.

Brocklandia, Tercania islands, and Du pres

Ive also got an issue.

*chugs Brocklandian coffee* soooo gooooood *hiccup*

Brocklandia and Duncan the delivery doggo

Du pres wrote:Ive also got an issue.

*chugs Brocklandian coffee* soooo gooooood *hiccup*

whats the issue also that's not coffee

Brocklandia and Du pres

Arcticfoxxo wrote:whats the issue also that's not coffee

The issue is I am drinking, overdrinking, coffee that is not coffee.

Brocklandia and Duncan the delivery doggo

Du pres wrote:The issue is I am drinking, overdrinking, coffee that is not coffee.

its only coffee for legal reasons, just like this is only a bar for legal reasons, and why our parking lot is on mars for legal reasons, just dont ask whats in the chili

Brocklandia, Tercania islands, and Du pres

Arcticfoxxo wrote:its only coffee for legal reasons, just like this is only a bar for legal reasons, and why our parking lot is on mars for legal reasons, just dont ask whats in the chili

I bet the chili is delicious.

Brocklandia, Tercania islands, and Duncan the delivery doggo

Tercania islands

Du pres wrote:I bet the chili is delicious.

Try the barbecue chili, and the hard bits that look like teeth are just peppercorns.

Brocklandia and Du pres

Duncan the delivery doggo

Du pres wrote:Ive also got an issue.

*chugs Brocklandian coffee* soooo gooooood *hiccup*

Woof woof (Translation) That's not as bad as chugging maple syrup but you've drank so much coffee that is not actually coffee that if you don't drink it you will get a massive migraine.

Brocklandia and Du pres

changed my national classification from socially awkward queendom to socially awkward bar waitress and changed my quote what yall think

Brocklandia and Duncan the delivery doggo

Duncan the delivery doggo

Arcticfoxxo wrote:changed my national classification from socially awkward queendom to socially awkward bar waitress and changed my quote what yall think

Woof woof (Translation) I think its good.

Duncan the delivery doggo wrote:Woof woof (Translation) I think its good.

ye its a nice change considering it was the old way for about 3 years

Brocklandia and Duncan the delivery doggo

Duncan the delivery doggo wrote:Wooof woof (Translation) Guess im going for a run. *Duncan runs to all the people giving them their orders.

WOOF WOOOF (Translation) ALSO STOP CHUGGING MAPLE SYRUP JEEZ.

BUT I LOVE MAPLE SYRUP EH

But I chugged all the maple syrup so can one of you keeners get me a two-four and a Timmies, eh?

Brocklandia and Duncan the delivery doggo

«12. . .4,2114,2124,2134,2144,2154,2164,217. . .5,0515,052»

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