by Max Barry

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Tercania islands

Brocklandia wrote:"Hope"? What's that? Is it related to the existential despair that fills our every waking moment here at the Bar?

No, that's just your body trying desperately to digest the food while the drink poisons your functions. It creates this odd tingling feeling that people seem to like.

Brocklandia wrote:The "not been cleaned in years" part isn't magic; it's laziness ... er, job security so no one forgets how much they need me, the humble janitor.

I clean.

Heads into the Magic Restroom in the Bar on the Corner, with two gallons of FabulosoŽ, and a utility belt packed with gloves, cloths, and an array of spray bottles.

Zany Zanes wrote:Having the ability to do things does not equal being in charge of the things. If we don't want to step on each others toes we keep out of each others business.
Sweeps the litter off the counter to set down a beer.

No, no - I clean.

Unstable microscopic blackhole wrote:Takes up residence in the Magic Restroom in the Bar on the Corner...

Puts blackhole in the trash (and trash in the Blackhole).

Tercania islands

Brocklandia wrote:Squeal! Thanks!

*Snatches the bar and runs off to the back room*

Oh no! That poor chocolate bar!

Consuela de la Morrela wrote:[i]Heads into the Magic Restroom in the Bar on the Corner, with two gallons of FabulosoŽ, and a utility belt packed with gloves, cloths, and an array of spray bottles.

Don't forget the pepper spray, flamethrower, hazmat suit, and outrageously overpriced insurance policy. It has a "death and dismemberment" clause, right?

Tercania islands wrote:Oh no! That poor chocolate bar!

What--*chew, chew, chew*--chocolate bar?--*gulp*--Ain't no chocolate bars here.

Zany Zanes, Tercania islands, and Consuela de la Morrela

Tercania islands wrote:No, that's just your body trying desperately to digest the food while the drink poisons your functions. It creates this odd tingling feeling that people seem to like.

That ... explains why customers keep coming back.

Zany Zanes, Tercania islands, and Consuela de la Morrela

YouTube Inc wrote:*while taking a class*
and we put a semi-colon at the end of the line, because this is a real programming language not "python"

Oh. I thought you put a semicolon at the end of lines because the rules of English grammar don't apply;

Tercania islands

Lady hevoline wrote:Yes

YouTube Inc wrote:no

Maybe.

Zany Zanes and Tercania islands

Tercania islands

Brocklandia wrote:What--*chew, chew, chew*--chocolate bar?--*gulp*--Ain't no chocolate bars here.

Oh the humanity! What does humanity mean again?

Tercania islands wrote:Oh the humanity! What does humanity mean again?

Truth is none of us really know.

Brocklandia and Tercania islands

Brocklandia wrote:What--*chew, chew, chew*--chocolate bar?--*gulp*--Ain't no chocolate bars here.

A cabinet behind brock suddenly explodes revealing a stash of chocolate bars with a note reading: "Hope this doesn't arrive at an inconvenient time.

- Prusmia

Brocklandia, Zany Zanes, and Tercania islands

*examines a barstool with curious intent* Where have you procured such a fine specimen?

Kakazagistan wrote:*examines a barstool with curious intent* Where have you procured such a fine specimen?

They probably made it from the bodies of the last customers.

Prusmia wrote:They probably made it from the bodies of the last customers.

Fascinating! *notices a second barstool* Two!? My God!

Kakazagistan wrote:Fascinating! *notices a second barstool* Two!? My God!

I think you'd like to meet the chef who made them. I think he'd be able to get some good recipes out of you. Wouldn't he Brocklandia?

Brocklandia and Kakazagistan

Tercania islands wrote:Oh the humanity! What does humanity mean again?

Not sure. I think it's an ingredient in Cheff's chili recipe.

Drunkndisorderly, Kakazagistan, Zany Zanes, Tercania islands, and 1 otherConsuela de la Morrela

Prusmia wrote:A cabinet behind brock suddenly explodes revealing a stash of chocolate bars with a note reading: "Hope this doesn't arrive at an inconvenient time.
- Prusmia

*grabs a broom and sweeps the chocolate bars toward the store room*

If anyone needs me, uhm, I'll be restocking in the back. Yeah, that's it.

Brocklandia wrote:*grabs a broom and sweeps the chocolate bars toward the store room*

If anyone needs me, uhm, I'll be restocking in the back. Yeah, that's it.

Btw, where's the chef, Mr Kakazagistan needs to have a word with him about some new recipes.

Brocklandia and Tercania islands

Prusmia wrote:Btw, where's the chef, Mr Kakazagistan needs to have a word with him about some new recipes.

Cheffy is in the kitchen, of course--and nearly twenty-four hours a day. Woe be until anyone in hir way when Cheffy does leave the kitchen, 'cause ze's usually in search of fresh ingredients.

But if someone's suicidal ... ah, thrill-seeking enough to go looking for Cheffy? Through that door, then follow the sounds of chopping and screaming.

Gosh, was Cheffy this homicidal when I first started working here four years ago? Yeah, probably. Ze was just better at hiding it.

Jehovahs witness, Zany Zanes, and Tercania islands

Brocklandia wrote:"Hope"? What's that? Is it related to the existential despair that fills our every waking moment here at the Bar?

In an awkward, "several times removed, only meet at forced family functions", kind of way.

Brocklandia and Tercania islands

Zany Zanes wrote:In an awkward, "several times removed, only meet at forced family functions", kind of way.

Just like my Uncle Charlie, the one who married Aunt Henry and moved to Key West with his massive collection of imported Pekingese figurines? Well, why didn't you say so?

Zany Zanes and Tercania islands

Kakazagistan wrote:Fascinating! *notices a second barstool* Two!? My God!

Either you're easily impressed, or you're starting a religion that worships bar stools. Not sure which is creepier.

Hey, did you know when bar stools grow up, they become tables. By coincidence we happen to have several such adult forms scattered throughout the bar. Don't forget to show them some worshipful adoration too.

Zany Zanes, Tercania islands, and Consuela de la Morrela

Songs you dont understand

I stan her again still with the same bustier, she looks like my former crush tho
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKsXdpVNyZ4

Brocklandia, Drunkndisorderly, and Tercania islands

Songs you dont understand wrote:I stan her again still with the same bustier, she looks like my former crush tho
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKsXdpVNyZ4

"Former crush," huh? Don't tell me you're gonna let a little thing like a restraining order stop you.

Tercania islands and Songs you dont understand

Brocklandia wrote:Either you're easily impressed, or you're starting a religion that worships bar stools. Not sure which is creepier.

Hey, did you know when bar stools grow up, they become tables. By coincidence we happen to have several such adult forms scattered throughout the bar. Don't forget to show them some worshipful adoration too.

Tables!? Plural!?! Ahhhggg! *collapses and proceeds to have a mental breakdown*

Zany Zanes, Tercania islands, Pricane, and Consuela de la Morrela

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