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This Month...​
- Neutrality breaks out in the DRF Chronicle
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👑 The Royal Ass Côte Races 👑

Tuesday 20th to Saturday 24th June 2017

👑
Royal Ass Côte Races

Tuesday 20th to Saturday 24th June 2017

Where the Wild Things Are


Watch the Linkopening ceremony

Read the commentary

View the results


Named after the wild donkeys that run free along its diamond sands, the Ass Côte is home to some of Where the Wild Things Are's most spectacular scenery.

Maurice Sendup, King of All Wild Things, has decreed that this year, the beautiful coast will be host to the first ever Royal Ass Côte Races. Encouraged with carrots, wild donkeys will dash across the sands, competing to be crowned ‘Royal Ass of the Year’.

Sponsor a Donkey

Until the 20th June, a limited number of nations may sponsor a donkey on a first-come, first-served basis. The sponsors may choose a name for their donkey, which will be painlessly tattooed on the animal. Want-to-be sponsors should telegram All Wild Things with the name that they would like tattooed on their ass.

Back Up Your Ass

From Tuesday 20th to Saturday 24th June, all nations are invited to Where the Wild Things Are to cheer for their favourite donkey via our open-to-all poll. The donkey with the most support will be crowned ‘Royal Ass of the Year’.

The sponsor funds raised will go to preserving the pristine Ass Côte for perpetuity as a nature reserve.

And the runners are

Donkey Name

Nation

Region

Distance ran (furlongs)

Assy McAssFace

Aelicia

The Affiliation of Allied States

Bear Ass

The Bears

The Bear Country

Dingbat

Mount Seymour

Forest

Get thee behind me

Almonaster Nuevo

Canada

No Black Hawks!

A dank military

The Great Universe

Rolax

Kangaroo hierarchy

Where the Wild Things Are

Screw Beaverton School District

New north cascades

RGBN

Stoned off His Ass Hippy

Orange pomander

Hippy Haven

Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk

Honeydewistania

Sikhi Empire



Need News? Visit The NewsStand.

Read dispatch

You are invited to attend the inaugural Royal Ass Côte Races, NationStates' most exciting interactive sporting event. Name a donkey, and cheer it on in our open-to-all poll.

Sikhi Broadcasting Company is sorry to inform all watchers that the producer is away for one month, so do not expect any new ones. We are sorry for the inconvenience, and our Sikhi Times website is down too. We are trying to set up a new one. Thank you everyone.

Post self-deleted by Abhichandra.

Hello everyone! I have a newsletter called The Weekly Update.

The latest Force Flyer is out!



Election Results In



The election for Prime Minister of Force has ended after 3 days of candidacy announcements, 2 days of debating, and 7 days of voting. The winner of the election ended up in the favor of Farallaracks a newer member of Force, but a very active one. 5 votes were cast for Liberal Evil, whereas 7 were cast for Farallaracks. 2 more votes were cast for Liberal Evil, however these are invalid due to them being cast from the same IP Address as another voter. Farallaracks has outlined their plan for more embassies, and more allies as well as a hope to build a stronger army and to help defend against bigger enemies. They have also outlined that they wish to keep in close contact with the Founder as well as their opponent, Liberal Evil to help figure out what Liberal Evil's plans were and see if their ideas can be brought to life as well as talking to Renegalle about the big picture.



New Memeland United



After the fall of Memeland United, when the defenders took over the region by refounding it, Liberal Evil created a new version - Memelands United! The delegate of Memelands United is democratically elected, and all citizens of Force are allowed to vote! Special News Reporter Liberal Evil decided to interview the current and only other citizen in Memelands United, The Dank States of America.

Reporter: So, Dank States of America, how did you find out about Memelands United?

DSA: I found it when it was Memeland United. I was mostly offline, and I have played NS before. I wanted to join a memey region, and then I looked at the WA page and saw that Memeland United had new delegate. I joined it.

Reporter: Thank you, do you have plans to improve Memelands United?

DSA: I can't join the WA so I have to pray for the best position. As the current Embassy Officer, I hope to be diplomatic and stuffs and help Memelands United be known in other regions. Thank you.

Reporter: Thanks Dank States of America.

Article by Liberal Evil. We thank The Dank States of America for agreeing to do the interview.



Introduction of the Force Broadcasting Network



The Force Broadcasting Network was not created to replace The Force flyer in any way, but to enhance it. FBN provides citizens of Force and beyond access to quick news briefings of events in Force every 2 days. Now the international and national community no longer has to wait a week or longer to receive the latest news from the region. The Force Flyer of course, still provides all the details whereas FBN provides just a quick 3 part news briefing.



Copyright © 2017 by the Force Foreign Affairs Ministry

Read dispatch

Only seven days until:

👑The Royal Ass Côte👑

Tuesday 20th to Saturday 24th June 2017

👑
Royal Ass Côte Races

Tuesday 20th to Saturday 24th June 2017

Where the Wild Things Are


Watch the Linkopening ceremony

Read the commentary

View the results


Named after the wild donkeys that run free along its diamond sands, the Ass Côte is home to some of Where the Wild Things Are's most spectacular scenery.

Maurice Sendup, King of All Wild Things, has decreed that this year, the beautiful coast will be host to the first ever Royal Ass Côte Races. Encouraged with carrots, wild donkeys will dash across the sands, competing to be crowned ‘Royal Ass of the Year’.

Sponsor a Donkey

Until the 20th June, a limited number of nations may sponsor a donkey on a first-come, first-served basis. The sponsors may choose a name for their donkey, which will be painlessly tattooed on the animal. Want-to-be sponsors should telegram All Wild Things with the name that they would like tattooed on their ass.

Back Up Your Ass

From Tuesday 20th to Saturday 24th June, all nations are invited to Where the Wild Things Are to cheer for their favourite donkey via our open-to-all poll. The donkey with the most support will be crowned ‘Royal Ass of the Year’.

The sponsor funds raised will go to preserving the pristine Ass Côte for perpetuity as a nature reserve.

And the runners are

Donkey Name

Nation

Region

Distance ran (furlongs)

Assy McAssFace

Aelicia

The Affiliation of Allied States

Bear Ass

The Bears

The Bear Country

Dingbat

Mount Seymour

Forest

Get thee behind me

Almonaster Nuevo

Canada

No Black Hawks!

A dank military

The Great Universe

Rolax

Kangaroo hierarchy

Where the Wild Things Are

Screw Beaverton School District

New north cascades

RGBN

Stoned off His Ass Hippy

Orange pomander

Hippy Haven

Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk

Honeydewistania

Sikhi Empire



Need News? Visit The NewsStand.

Read dispatch

Get involved while you can!

We come Bearing News!

Bearing News

9th February 2018

LinkHappy ending for 3 bears

2nd February 2018

Meanwhile in Basra, an item is returned to the shop...
This is the better Linkvideo coverage...
..and Linkthis has the better text.

12th December 2017

OMG! A Linkpolar bear gives birth!

25th August 2017

The Bears wrote:Pregnant panda?
Linkhttp://www.scotsman.com/news/baby-panda-could-be-born-at-edinburgh-zoo-tomorrow-1-4541396

20th August 2017

The Bears wrote:And in more bear-relevant news:

Linkhttps://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2017/08/14/bc-bans-grizzly-bear-trophy-hunting-will-completely-ban-grizzly-hunt-in-great-bear-rainforest.html

Linkhttps://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/aug/15/edinburgh-zoo-leaked-cctv-still-keeper-fleeing-giant-panda-enclosure

Linkhttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/magazine-40676384/a-licence-to-kill-bear-cubs

28th June 2017

The Bears wrote:RIP Michael Bond, creator of Paddington Bear.

The Bears wrote:Linkhttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-36428937

25th June 2017

Ursalia wrote:Some good bear related news:
The Yellowstone grizzly bear has been removed from the list of endangered species. 👍🐻

Gyuamno wrote:Linkhttp://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/06/yellowstone-grizzly-bears-removed-endangered-species-list-threatened-conservation-spd/
Linkhttps://www.livescience.com/59590-grizzly-bears-lose-endangered-status.html
Seems many are not happy about it as it will hurt conservation efforts because they will lose some federal protection.

9th June 2017

The Bears wrote:
How about this unfortunate bear?
Linkhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4589120/amp/Grizzly-bear-battles-river-gets-washed-waterfall.html
Or this enterprising one?
Linkhttp://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-us-canada-36187067/bear-chased-from-apartment-refrigerator

19th April 2017

Salmon eating bears wrote:Lately in Bear News:

An article about a bear rescue in Ukraine: Linkhttp://metro.co.uk/2017/04/18/brown-bear-playing-with-drone-finally-safe-from-circus-abuse-6580861/

Also: Linkhttp://www.heraldlive.co.za/news/world/2017/04/18/second-lease-life-abused-circus-bears-ukraine/

Bears kept as pets are released into the wild, and of course they return to the city. When you don't grow up wild, what did they expect? Linkhttp://www.kurdistan24.net/en/news/50eb71d2-554b-45ab-92ff-f6e97b208444/PHOTOS--Bear-released-into-Kurdistan-nature-returns-to-urban-area

Summit the Bear is doing well at Appalachian Bear Rescue: Linkhttp://www.heraldcourier.com/news/summitt-the-bear-continues-to-improve-at-appalachian-bear-rescue/article_ecb35480-da00-5a62-8bf1-e194b503852a.html

San Francisco Zoo's polar bear Uulu has passed on: Linkhttp://hoodline.com/2017/04/rip-uulu-beloved-polar-bear-at-the-san-francisco-zoo

Caring for an Andean Bear: Linkhttps://nationalzoo.si.edu/ccs/news/andean-bear-adventure-part-ii

Part 1 from 2016 is here: Linkhttps://nationalzoo.si.edu/ccs/news/zoo-peru-andean-bear-adventure

20th March 2017

Salmon eating bears wrote:Winter in the northern hemisphere is usually a quiet time for bear news, but things are beginning to thaw. And with that, I bring you the next edition of:

Lately in Bear News (fanfare.wav)

Pashuk was a captive bear who was eating nothing but beer and occasional bits of bread. He's been rescued and he's doing better now: Linkhttps://www.thedodo.com/pashuk-beer-bear-rescue-2317257636.html

An unprecedented study of Brown Bear behavior recorded over 100 hours of live footage. Turns out they eat a lot of moose: Linkhttp://www.sciencemag.org/news/2017/03/bears-are-bigger-killers-thought-gruesome-video-footage-reveals

A cub found in Cape Breton was rescued a year ago and is doing well: Linkhttp://atlantic.ctvnews.ca/birthday-bash-held-for-rescued-cape-breton-bear-cub-1.3330887

An interview with a bear biologist down in Missouri about behavior, research, and black bear interactions: Linkhttp://krcu.org/post/missouri-black-bear-research-project-keeping-black-bear-safe-and-wild#stream/0

Yellowstone National Park reports its first bear sighting for the year: Linkhttp://k2radio.com/first-bear-sighting-of-2017-reported-in-yellowstone-national-park/

26th January 2017

Mommabear wrote:And in the news:

Linkhttps://www.google.co.uk/amp/www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/25/polar-bear-cub-does-dab-dance-taking-adorable-first-steps-zoo/amp/

20th December 2016

Salmon eating bears wrote:Lately in Bear News:

Animals Asia raided a bear bile farm; some of the bears have been there for about ten years: Linkhttps://www.thedodo.com/bile-bear-farm-vietnam-asia-2147390627.html

Polar bear problem? There's a 24-hour hotline for that: Linkhttps://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/12/trouble-in-polar-bear-capital/510839/

Hibernation cycles are being disrupted due to easy access to human food: Linkhttp://phys.org/news/2016-12-availability-human-food-shortens-disrupts.html

And in other news, the population of Salmon Eating Bears is the fattest in Bear Country. (o:

15th December 2016

Mommabear wrote:Excitement is building in the run up to Christmas! Channel 4 (UK TV) will be showing an adaptation of 'We're Going On a Bear Hunt' on Christmas eve.

Linkhttp://www.thebookseller.com/insight/were-going-bear-hunt-adaptation-first-look-446121

To build up the hype, they've an app too:

Linkhttp://m.broadcastnow.co.uk/5111856.article

Michael Rosen was interviewed about it on Radio 2 this evening.

Hmm, all this excitement has made my tumbly rumbly. Time for a little something...

4th December 2016

Salmon eating bears wrote:Lately in Bear News:

Some pictures of polar bears chewing on whale bones Kaktovik, Alaska: Linkhttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3993642/He-s-having-whale-time-Young-polar-bear-gets-head-stuck-enormous-bone-scavenges-dinner.html

Two men charged for poaching a bear in Pennsylvania: Linkhttp://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/real-time/Glouco-men-charged-with-illegally-killing-bear-in-Pennsylvania.html

$6,000 reward for information on grizzly bear poaching in Idaho: Linkhttp://elkodaily.com/news/state-and-regional/reward-in-grizzly-bear-slaying/article_4086c15c-7b50-59e7-a656-1aec2ceaf151.html

PCBs continue to cause problems for polar bear fertility: Linkhttp://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/polar-bears-may-be-suffering-lingering-impacts-pollutants-banned-nearly-40-years-ago-180961276/

29th November 2016

Salmon eating bears wrote:Lately in Bear News:

Turkey: Construction workers free a bear trapped in a pit of dead chickens. Linkhttps://au.news.yahoo.com/a/33336630/watch-construction-workers-unearth-massive-trapped-bear/

Albania: Four Paws International rescues Jeta from a life of being dragged around with a chain through her nose. Linkhttps://www.thedodo.com/selfie-bear-albania-rescue-2097155564.html

14th November 2016

Salmon eating bears wrote:More Bear News from the past few days:

The Columbus Zoo welcomes some newborn polar bears into the world:

Linkhttp://people.com/pets/watch-columbus-zoo-welcomes-polar-bear-twins-the-size-of-two-sticks-of-butter/

Scientists doing DNS analysis on brown bears find that saliva from salmon carcasses is more reliable and less expensive than scat analysis:

Linkhttp://www.natureworldnews.com/articles/31691/20161112/bear-saliva-scientists-new-source-data.htm

I don't know about you, but I'll take saliva over poop any day.

Ursinals wrote:Hey everyone!

I had a friend send me this because he knows me pretty well and I thought I would share it with the rest of you all. It's rough around the edges but I think it could become something great.

Linkhttp://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=647892080&searchtext=Witanlore

13th November 2016

Salmon eating bears wrote:Dr. Lynn Rogers, the founder of The North American Bear Center (a place I highly recommend visiting if you're ever in Minnesota), shared his formula for a replacement bear milk formula in one of his recent posts. I thought you all might be interested: Linkhttp://www.bearstudy.org/website/updates/daily-updates/3209-quill-tasha-nutrition-feeding-update-november-11-2016.html

Mmmm, nothin' says delicious like goat's milk with some cod liver oil and a crushed vitamin c tablet mixed in... ~(o:


Need more news? Visit The NewsStand
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👑The Royal Ass Côte👑
The race has started!
Cheer for your favourite here:
page=poll/p=95598
Racing ends Saturday 24th June

Check out that Bear Ass!

Watch Royal Ass Côte live here
region=where_the_wild_things_are#poll

And keep up with the commentary here


Sports Articles
Brought to you by Wild Things!


Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 4 22 June 2019

Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 3 21 June 2019

Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 2 20 June 2019

Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 1 19 June 2019


Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 6 24 June 2018

Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 5 23 June 2018

Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 4 22 June 2018

Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 3 21 June 2018

Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 2 20 June 2018

Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 1 19 June 2018


Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 5 24 June 2017

Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 4 23 June 2017

Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 3 22 June 2017

Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 2 21 June 2017

Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 1 20 June 2017


Where the Wild Things Wrestle 24 May 2017

Royal Ass Côte Announced 18 May 2017


Need more News? Visit The NewsStand.


Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 4
22 June 2019

Replay! See the finish!

What a frenzied moment that was!

Novaturient may have sought change, but remained in last place, only one length behind Moonsplash. At five furlongs, Ass Eater failed to keep up with Kim Kardashian, who made eight furlongs. so basically im donky slipped back in the ranks, placing fourth with a distance of ten furlongs. I have a big butt, and I cannot lie in third. After leading for the whole race, Short Muffins has just fallen short, reaching thirteen furlongs. And in first place, at fourteen furlongs, proof that you can be a Lazy Ass and still be a winner.

Didn't they maintain an exhausting pace?

A suspected doping scandal has hit the Royal Ass Côte. Sources suggest that the drugs were administered by a needle to the ass. The suspected drug, known as Alanasyn, was administered to Gregory. A race official said: "It is difficult to quantify how much of Gregory's performance is due to the Alanasyn effect, but we strongly believe that the drug more than doubled the distance the donkey managed. Gregory has been officially disqualified from the race."
Terrusya, Grogory's trainer, expressed their bemusement, at first saying "I don’t understand". They have since resolved to investigate what happened, saying they'll "try to figure it out".

Wild Ass also fell foul of anti-doping rules too, this time from a street drug known as "Crack of Doom". Wild Ass had been expected to place seventh.

'Twas a thrilling, absolutely chilling running of the ascot opening race

Thanks to all the donkey's and trainers who took part, and congratulations to Smiley Bob, whose Lazy Ass has won the title of Royal Ass of the Year 2019.

Donkey Name

Nation

Distance ran (furlongs)

Lazy Ass

Smiley Bob

14

Short Muffins

Padfootia

13

I have a big butt, and I cannot lie

GoodKingWenceslas

12

so basically im donky

Evokice

10

Kim Kardashian

Aglore

8

Ass eater

Anacin

5

Moonsplash

Elysium forests

2

Novaturient

Wolfram Von Richthofen

1

Wild Ass

Nudistonia

n/a

Gregory

Terrusya

n/a


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Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 3
21 June 2019

Live Action! Watch the race!

Heartbeats speed up, I have never been so keyed up!

As usual at this stage in the race, there is little change in most of the positions. Novaturient remains at the back, behind joint sixth Wild Ass and Moonsplash. Ass Eater is at the rear of Kim Kardashian, but that gap is wide, and will be hard to fill. so basically im donky has slipped to third. Lazy Ass is anything but, having made it to joint second with I have a big butt, and I cannot lie, and Gregory, who has surprisingly made an unexpected comeback. Still leading by a length is Short Muffins.


Jet to The Sands Hotel

Take a bus, or train, or drive. You could take a horse and buggy if you're really determined to "go west". But why waste time? By jet, it's less than five clicks, from anywhere, N.S. Call it "Fun Saving Time". Join the whirl of continuous excitement. Thrill to the vibrant Monte Carlo atmosphere, the pleasure of all outdoor recreation plus free golf. Sit ring-side for the greatest moments of show business. Enjoy gourmet dining at one of the three elegant continental restaurants. Luxuriate in a magnificent room or suite in the new Aqueduct building... the ultimate in plush living. So get off your burro and get on your phone! Make your reservation today.

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Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 2
20 June 2019

Live Action! Watch the race!

Pulses rushing, faces flushing!

Novaturient is struggling at the rear. Wild Ass looks more like Mild Ass, languishing behind with Moonsplash. Gregory has found his direction, and is neck-and-neck with Ass Eater. Ahead of them, we're seeing that anything Kim Kardashian can achieve, a Lazy Ass can match. I have a big butt, and I cannot lie, so basically im donky in second. Leading by a length is Short Muffins.

These donkeys have some interesting names. Earlier we asked GoodKingWenceslas why I have a big butt, and I cannot lie?:
nation=goodkingwenceslas/detail=factbook/id=1224911


Jet to The Sands Hotel

Take a bus, or train, or drive. You could take a horse and buggy if you're really determined to "go west". But why waste time? By jet, it's less than five clicks, from anywhere, N.S. Call it "Fun Saving Time". Join the whirl of continuous excitement. Thrill to the vibrant Monte Carlo atmosphere, the pleasure of all outdoor recreation plus free golf. Sit ring-side for the greatest moments of show business. Enjoy gourmet dining at one of the three elegant continental restaurants. Luxuriate in a magnificent room or suite in the new Aqueduct building... the ultimate in plush living. So get off your burro and get on your phone! Make your reservation today.

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Royal Ass Côte 2019 - Day 1
19 June 2019

Live Action! Watch the race!

A gripping, absolutely ripping moment!

Every duke and earl and peer is here. LinkEveryone who should be here is here. What a smashing, positively dashing spectacle.

It's the Ass Côte opening day. Gregory seems oblivious, having failed to leave the starting line. Novaturient looks like they could do with some nutrients, tied with Wild Ass near the rear. Ass Eater and Moonsplash are just ahead of them. With a respectable five furlongs gone, so basically im donky is making respectable progress. Lazy Ass is out at seven furlongs, matching Kim Kardashian. Front runners are Short Muffins, and I have a big butt, and I cannot lie.

We landed an exclusive interview with Gregory's trainer, Terrusya, who seemed as confused as Gregory:
"I was in the middle of eating ass but then the ass came off but I wanted to preserve it so I threw into into my cooler but the cooler was stolen by a scientists and turned it into this ass. Then I heard that he stole my ass and i became John Wick from fortnite and killed like 200 people for revenge of my stolen ass. But then I found out how cool this new form of my personal ass is and I named it."


Jet to The Sands Hotel

Take a bus, or train, or drive. You could take a horse and buggy if you're really determined to "go west". But why waste time? By jet, it's less than five clicks, from anywhere, N.S. Call it "Fun Saving Time". Join the whirl of continuous excitement. Thrill to the vibrant Monte Carlo atmosphere, the pleasure of all outdoor recreation plus free golf. Sit ring-side for the greatest moments of show business. Enjoy gourmet dining at one of the three elegant continental restaurants. Luxuriate in a magnificent room or suite in the new Aqueduct building... the ultimate in plush living. So get off your burro and get on your phone! Make your reservation today.

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Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 6
24 June 2018

Live Action! Watch the race!

It's All Over!


Asses filling up again after the runs

And it's all over for Snickerdoodle, and it's all over for them all. Finding that last burst of energy, Ruthien races ahead to the 62 furlong mark, and despite giving it all her extra, Snickerdoodle is behind at 56. My Wife Knows Everything is third at 18, Eeyore fourth at 14, Hercules fifth at nine. Joint sixth are Daunè and ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ with seven furlongs behind them. Mikael takes seventh, having covered five furlongs. Dan Quayle at four is eighth, and Lorde and Red are trailing at three furlongs.

Those were some fantastic asses, and we loved the way they moved.

Donkey

Sponsor

Distance ran (furlongs)

Ruthien

Glacikaldr

62

Snickerdoodle

Apple-loosa

56

My Wife Knows Everything

Please understand

18

Eeyore

Sanjikurisa

14

Hercules

Earthbound Immortal Squad

9

Daunè

Lihone

7

⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸

The Marsupial Illuminati

7

Mikael

Blue Ice

5

Dan Quayle

Terre australes

4

Lorde

Ijebu state

3

Red

RBBF

3


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Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 5
23 June 2018

Live Action! Watch the race!

Keep On Running


Ruthien and Snickerdoodle, neck and neck

In a shocking twist, The King of All Wild Things has revealed that this year's Royal Ass Côte will run for an extra 24 hours. Which means that this neq-and-neck race is not over yet! With Ruthien at 49 furlongs, and Snickerdoodle at 48, anything could happen. My Wife Knows Everything is now in front of Eeyore. Hercules is in fifth. Daunè and ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ vie for sixth place, followed by Mikael, then Dan Quayle, Lorde and Red.

My Wife Knows Everything was caught on camera in Linkprevious race.


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Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 4
22 June 2018

Live Action! Watch the race!

Snickerdoodle Fills That Gap


Red merchandise on display. However, My Wife Knows Everything has higher sales

And Glacikaldr's Ruthien's back in the race! But that gap is rapidly being filled by Apple-loosa's Snickerdoodle, who, having gone 13 furlongs today to the 34 furlong mark, is now only four behind. My Wife Knows Everything is level with Sanjikurisa's Eeyore, who has emerged from that old gloomy spot, and is neck and neck for third place at 14 furlongs. At eight furlongs, Earthbound Immortal Squad's Hercules has a Herculean task to catch up. The Marsupial Illuminati's ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ has passed the six furlong mark, Lihone's Daunè and Blue Ice's Mikael follow, with Terre australes's Dan Quayle, Ijebu state's Lorde and Red behind.

Glacikaldr reveals more about Ruthien in this article.


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Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 3
21 June 2018

Live Action! Watch the race!

A Turnaround in Fortunes


Ruthien changes direction

What a turnaround! Ruthien has literally turned around, and started wandering back! Maybe he's feeling lonely, and looking for the rest of the pack. Ruthien won't be lonely for long though, as that bundle of sweetness Snickerdoodle sugar-powers her way past the 21 furlong mark. At this stage, it's unusual to see an ass covering this much ground, but that's the Snickerdoodle effect. My Wife Knows Everything is hungry to fill that gap with Snickerdoodle, but she just needs a little something more. Hercules is showing his strength, breaking away from Eeyore. Daunè keeps plodding on behind, followed by the malformed ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸, Mikael, and Dan Quayle. It looks like a sorely beaten Red ass behind Dan Quayle, and the good Lorde seems to be waiting for the end.

RBBF, Red's trainer revealed: "Red, named for the colour of the faces of people who dare to wager against him (They are often heard to shout, 'Beat that Red Ass!')."


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Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 2
20 June 2018

Live Action! Watch the race!

Good Lorde, They're Off!


(Please understand), My Wife Knows Everything is green, and their memorabilia is selling fast

In this second day of racing, Ruthien is flagging. Still ahead at 35 furlongs, their pace is slowing. Snickerdoodle is making progress, and at 15 furlongs, is starting to close that enormous gap. At nine, My Wife Knows Everything is gaining ground, breaking away from Hercules and Eeyore. Dan Quayle, Daunè and Mikael are following those asses, with Red and ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ behind, and Lorde finally having wandered out of the stable.

It's heart-warming to see Daunè, a small donkey found at the roadside, keeping pace with the pack. ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ is another underdog, whose sponsor shared this sad story. Mistaken for a horse by the mad Professor Ungar, ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ was abused, tortured, and experimented on. When it became known that the deformed animal was a donkey, it was released into the wild.


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Royal Ass Côte 2018 - Day 1
19 June 2018

Live Action! Watch the race!

Hat's a Great Start!

As always, the hats are out in force at the Royal Ass Côte, and there are some fine examples today.

As we wait for the start, lets get to know some of the donkeys in more detail. Earlier we spoke to Eeyore's trainer, Sanjikurisa, and recorded Linkthis footage. Quite inspiring.

And they're Off!
Well, not all of them. Daunè and Lorde seem content to amble around the starting line. Ahead of them a small pack is forming. My Wife Knows Everything ahead of Hercules, followed by Eeyore, and Dan Quayle, with Mikael, Red, and ⧸S͈̬̖̝͍ͬ̊ͫ̆̎̕e̟̥̹̻̩͉͖ͮ͆̉̊̉c̱̳̣̰͂̐̽̏͒͒̓ṟ̻̝̍̅ͣ̅́e̵̯̤̤ͩ̄̌̊ͧ̀ͫt̆͒̏a̼͉͈̺̗͍̟ͧͫ̂ͩ͗̂r̲̐͑i̯͍̝̐̌ͣạ̱̃̆̽̚̚͝t̮̲͛ͪ⧸ behind. Breaking ahead of the pack at 11 furlongs is the sweetheart Snickerdoodle. But the ass to watch is the amazing Ruthien. Sponsored by House Nivali of Glacikaldr, the crowds are out cheering on this early favourite. Having covered 32 furlongs in the first 24 hours, Ruthien is already eclipsing the record of Bear Ass, the 2017 champion.


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Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 5
24 June 2017

Noone Can Touch That Bear Ass!


Pooped out ass, after five days of strain

Bear Ass is Royal Ass of the Year! Five full days of racing, and noone came close to touching Bear Ass. Dingbat made a valiant attempt, coming second, followed by Get thee behind me in third. Further back, Screw Beaverton School District managed a respectable fourth place, Stoned Off His Ass Hippy in fifth, and Rolax sixth. Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk made seventh, No Black Hawks! eighth, and Assy McAssFace trailing behind.

Dignitaries from 99 nations attended the races, raising much needed funds to help preserve the
Ass Côte
as a nature reserve for another year.

Full results are in The Wild Rumpus Book of Records.

Six hours to go!

Emotions are high as the finish line comes into sight. Stoned Off His Ass Hippy is making progress, but, like Screw Beaverton School District, looks unlikely to rank in the top three. Get thee behind me slips behind Dingbat, who keeps pushing to narrow the gap with Bear Ass.


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Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 4
23 June 2017

Get thee behind me Set to Get Ahead


Neck and neck

With a fresh burst of energy, Get thee behind me catches Dingbat. Neck and neck, they jockey for position behind that stunning Bear Ass. Screw Beaverton School District hangs on to fourth place, while in fifth is Rolax joint with the Stoned Off His Ass Hippy.


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Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 3
22 June 2017

Stoned Off His Ass Hippy Rolling Up

Despite strong wind, Bear Ass kept running, extending that lead. But the big surprise of the day was the dab of speed from Stoned Off His Ass Hippy, who, showing no quarter, passed the joint placings of Rolax and Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk and puffed his way into fifth place.
Supporters of other donkeys were Linkseen to express their frustration with the progress.


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Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 2
21 June 2017

Screw Beaverton School District May Yet Make the Grade!


In a new twist, Screw Beaverton School District pulls away from the pack

Feeling fatigued and battling the weather, the donkeys are making slower progress today. Bear Ass is maintaining a steady lead on Dingbat, but the strain is starting to show. Get thee behind me is losing a little ground to these two race leaders. Screw Beaverton School District is breaking away from the pack though, powering ahead of Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk and Rolax, who are rivalling for fifth place. No Black Hawks! is holding out, while Stoned off His Ass Hippy is starting to come into his own, with Assy McAssFace yet to pick up the pace.


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Royal Ass Côte 2017 - Day 1
20 June 2017

Watch the Linkopening ceremony

Dingbat out of Hell!


Dingbat races across the diamond sands of the Ass Côte

At a distance of twenty-one furlongs, that Bear Ass is proving difficult to beat. A late starter, rocketing out the stall like a Dingbat out of hell, Forest's Dingbat hoofs it past the competition and into second place, reaching twelve furlongs before the end of the first day's racing. This could prove to be a stiff challenger for the title. Get thee behind me makes steady progress to the ten furlong mark. Screw Beaverton School District is fourth at five furlongs, followed by Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk and Rolax joint fifth. No Black Hawks! follow Rolax. Stoned off His Ass Hippy’s staggering in the right direction, leaving Assy McAssFace in the rear.
What an amazing late performance from Dingbat, showing that fortunes really can change in this unpredictable race.

That Bear Ass is Spectacular!
Twelve hours in, and all eyes are on that spectacular Bear Ass! At the six furlong mark, Get thee behind me is struggling to achieve it's ambition, at a full six furlongs behind Bear Ass. Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk and Screw Beaverton School District are joint third at the four furlong mark, closely followed by Rolax and No Black Hawks! The Stoned off His Ass Hippy has finally dawdled out of the stall, leaving Dingbat and Assy McAssFace behind.
But all could change. Can Bear Ass keep up this incredible pace?

And They're Off!
Only a five hours in, and the excitement is buzzing at the Royal Ascot. Bear Ass is already ahead at the five furlong mark. But can this donkey keep up the pace?
Uselessjunkandnuclearwaste.co.uk has covered three furlongs, closely followed by Rolax, then Screw Beaverton School District, with the others yet to start. But in this long and challenging race, the tables could easily turn.

At the Royal Ass Côte, the spectators are as fascinating to watch as the donkeys!


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Where the Wild Things Wrestle
24 May 2017

Sumo is coming to Where the Wild Things Are. Following a recent public consultation, the governing body of the Wild Rumpus Book of Records will trial a series of Sumo wrestling matches. Guidelines have been drawn up, giving wrestlers clarity on the rules of engagement, and the standards of conduct required. There are high hopes (particularly amongst marketing executives) that Sumo becomes a popular and long standing part of Wild Thing culture.

Should things go to plan, the town of Roi looks set to become home to a new Sumo stadium. Roi has one of the highest youth unemployment rates in All Wild Things, and it is hoped that this development could help turnaround the town's fortunes. A sketch of the stadium leaked to Wild Things! shows a Japanese style castle, or shiro. Following Japanese naming conventions, the new stadium would be called Roi-jo. Locals however, are already calling the proposed stadium Roi Castle.

The consultation also revealed a high level of public interest in surfing, and Calvinball. Wild Rumpus Book of Records official Boris McWorthy indicated that these may be suitable sports for future events.

One of the more unusual suggestions in the consultation was LinkFerret-legging. Mr McWorthy dismissed this suggestion, citing diplomatic reasons. “We had concerns this could damage our inter-relations with Furry regions. We've no objection to people playing with the hairy things in their trousers, but we do not want to see them coming on the international stage.”


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Royal Ass Côte Announced
18 May 2017

HRH Maurice Sendup, King of All Wild Things, has announced the inaugural Royal Ass Côte races. International sponsors are sought for the event, which features wild donkeys dashing across diamond sands, competing to be crowned ‘Royal Ass of the Year’. Dignitaries from all over NationStates are invited to attend the entertainments, which will run from 20th to 24th June. The official dispatch contains more details.

With the aim of maintaining momentum in the sporting calendar, officials from the Wild Rumpus Book of Records are now seeking opinion as to which other sporting events should be hosted Where the Wild Things Are.
Contribute to the consultation here.

Top


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Read dispatch

BANDS - sci-fi action thriller

Watch Slattsenw's 51 minute movie:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EX04MhW3eQ

Rate it here!
region=the_newsstand#poll

Debating Times

New Poll!

Are Nazism and Fascism different?

Poll: page=poll/p=95701

Region: region=international_debating_area

Please Vote!

The latest Force Flyer is out!



Liberalus Evilus Becomes the First Honorary Citizen of Dot



Liberalus Evilus, formerly Liberal Evil, has become the very first Honorary Dot Citizen!

Extract from Force Forums:
Renegalle: Liberal Evil has participated honorably in Force ever since it was founded. They were the 8th resident ever in the region and was the second person on the forums (after me) and the second person on Discord (after me). They suggested creation of the Role Play ministry as well as playing a key part in establishing the Foreign Affairs Ministry and making it what it is today. They continue to perform honorably in any job given to them and are participating in important missions and deployments with our alliance SCUT admirably.

A puppet, Liberal Dots, has been sent to to region, and has been appointed as an Honorary Citizen. Yahoo!



A Bright Day for Force



The Lost Treasure of The Temple of The Crisps is a valuable treasure worth 5 Billion British Pounds. Rapturn, Renegalle and Liberalus Evilus archaelogists were searching in a Western Libertatis Regalis area, in hope of finding the temple. The combination of teamwork, friendship, and perserverance resulted in Renegalle archeologists finding the treasure and having it distributed equally among the nations. The money retrieved from the treasure will allow governments in Force to maintain order as well as improve the overall quality of life in the region.



A New Delegate, Another Day in Force



After the inactive delegate Weshandee ceased to exist, the game automatically elected Mooxien as the new delegate, having the most endorsements. As Mooxien is very active, and on the forums, he can work well within the WA Ministry. We know that Mooxien will be a great delegate for our region! Meanwhile, many mourned Weshandee ceasing to exist, and hope that Mooxien will continue their great legacy of fairness. The region has recently had many nations CTE because of inactivity and it is believed this is because they went inactive before the region had time to develop and offer more and more great opportunities.



Copyright © 2017 by the Force Foreign Affairs Ministry

Read dispatch

Sorry for this being so late

Debating Times

New Poll!

If we encounter a non-intelligent life form on another planet (aliens), should we intervene, or leave them alone?

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I'm planning on making a NationStates video/film about a gamer who wants to play NationStates.

Does anyone want to be personally mentioned? Or commented on?

Debating Times

New Poll!

Does the government have the right to place scientifically proven beneficial chemicals, nutrients, and/or minerals in the public water system?

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The June issue of The Commonwealth Times is out! Read it here:

The Commonwealth Times - June 2017

by Commonwealth times editior


Monthly Commonwealth Highlights

June has been a month of growth and success for the SCUT. Between new members and reorganizations for greater efficiency, our future is looking bright. Now, however, an old enemy with a grudge has declared war on us yet again.

Dominion
Full member; GC Representation; All Citizens can participate in Discord

Province
Full member; GC Representation; Officers and Citizens with the rank of Upstanding or higher can participate in Discord

Outpost
Commissioned by the GC; No GC Representation; Used for a specific purpose; Citizens with the rank of Prominent or higher can participate in Discord

Ally
Non-territory; Joint treaty with the SCUT; Formal Alliance

Partner
Non-territory; No treaty with the SCUT; Informal Alliance based on an agreement of some sort.

Holding
Non-territory; Foreign region acquired by the SCUT. Usually managed by the Commonwealth Defense Forces in the aftermath of a liberation -or- managed by the Grand Council as a puppet region of a territory.



Grand Council Updates

The Grand Council would like to welcome the newest SCUT territory: Force as well as the outposts, allies, partners, and holdings.



Social Spotlight

The Commonwealth Times
How did you hear about the SCUT?
Please Understand
Tezde was being liberated by this thing called "SCUT" and I thought it was being taken over, which is why I stubbed the embassies. Viscondy, a SCUT lapdog, told me about how my region was in danger and the Cith Flind incident caused me to want to get involved.
The Commonwealth Times
What is your region/organization?
Please Understand
Capricornarius is a region that's rogued with its own everything. At the same time, it has this thing called GAP that is to formalize and treaty relations between nations and regions.
The Commonwealth Times
What is your role in your region/organization?
Please Understand
I am mostly the Author of the region who stabilizes and bases everything. From there, I let everybody do what they please.
The Commonwealth Times
What is your opinion on the way the Commonwealth functions?
Please Understand
I guess it is alright, because I have no other opinion on it. Let alone can I concentrate on it.
The Commonwealth Times
On a scale of 1-10 (1 being most hostile and 10 being most friendly) where would you rate your regional/organizational level of relations with the Commonwealth?
Please Understand
I guess on a number 7.



News Around the Multiverse

Good old Sovietzkia is at it again, folks. At a peace conference with SCUT leadership, Sovietzkia declared war on the Commonwealth. Why? Well, it was because Titopea (a member of the GC) was let into the negotiations. This led to Sov accusing Pokemanland (the diplomat in charge of getting the conference set up) of "treachery", even though it was agreed upon unanimously that Titopea would be let back in. Of course, to Sov, this was all "another plot to destroy [him]" that Morriband was "planning all along".

In other news, Socialous has popped back up. His futile rants against us draw him no traction, so we're not worried about that.



The Barracks

The Commonwealth Defense Forces deploy in the defense of the Commonwealth and its allies to maintain peace and order in the multiverse.

The CDF has conducted Operation Summer Wind, a series of Liberations against The Black Hawks.



Project Seeker

This section details the updates of Project Seeker.

There now are new main characters in the Seeker storyline.

Learn about the history of Z0mb13
--LinkSythetic Dinner
--LinkImportant People
--LinkThe Start of Anarchy

Check out LinkThe Industry of Warfare - a new TV show airing in Commonwealth of Royals

Pokemanland has nuclear waste for sale for anyone interested in building sustainable energy sources, creating a dirty bomb, or studing nuclear chemistry. Get yours today! (Sold by the barrel; Restrictions seldom apply; Must be two years or older to order; Radiation Suit not included)



Letters to the Editor

Imperial Germans writes:
The FGGR will be on "summer protocol" and will be scaling back its operations, but will still be active. Please direct any questions to Brientopia.

Noted. Have a good summer guys!

Please understand writes:
So, I have noticed that Sovietzkia has been tearing his hair out again. And SCUT has another war on their hands. I just gotta tell those like Morriband Viscondy and all of that that I'm not gonna get involved. I have no involvement in SCUT or GAIP.

That said, HAVE A NICE DAY, B__CHES!

Sounds good. We'll help you out if you get drawn in though.


The Commonwealth Times: For The People

The Commonwealth Times is the official news bulletin for the Supreme Commonwealth of United Territories

Read dispatch

I've uploaded behind the scenes and bloopers for BANDS. You can find them in this playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLKp7lQlau4KiFvM8jcGuatZKmGZyLrswd

Post self-deleted by DFTBA-Land.

Debating Times

New Poll!

Should the U.S. have dropped the nukes on Japan during WW2?

Poll: page=poll/p=96089

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Please Vote!

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The Sands are pleased to announce the roulette table has opened. Place your bets, please.

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