by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in The East Pacific

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, The East Pacific is ranked 12,189th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
21.The Hellish Fiefdom of ThePlagueIron Fist Consumerists“The Pest”
22.The Fanatical Federation of Freedom FascistsInoffensive Centrist Democracy“Live Free or Die Trying”
23.The Commonwealth of Humpty DooCorporate Police State“We Do it Our Way”
24.The Regional Hegemonic Morass of TimbuktutuMoralistic Democracy“Our revolution still lives!”
25.The Easteris world of ButballsCapitalizt“I love eater nner”
26.The Republic of CheeseBurritoAnarchy“Do penguins wish they could fly?”
27.The Soviet Satellite State of SiegruneIron Fist Consumerists“Marx und Wodka”
28.The Free Democratic Republic of Everywhere ElseIron Fist Consumerists“Obliviscatur eius”
29.The Federal Republic of KachalandAnarchy“Peace and Justice”
30.The Abyssal Depths of Mariana TrenchBenevolent Dictatorship“Return to the Abyss”
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