by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in The Region That Has No Big Banks

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, The Region That Has No Big Banks is ranked 22,679th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Smash Hit Movie Version of BrocklandiaAnarchy“Now playing!”
2.The Glorious Memeland of ShavoCorporate Bordello“You don't get a second chance to make the first choice”
3.The One true one of Going4NumbaOneFather Knows Best State“One, 1, Won”
4.The Dakzrimaco Inepram of VladyslakIron Fist Consumerists“Dié caus milá. Vol dentira opni dié yehn círn?”
5.The Rogue Nation of The lunch table2Corporate Police State“Got anything to trade?”
6.The Archetype State of TicheotisFather Knows Best State“Permanent is Nothing”
7.The Empire of GoofusCapitalist Paradise“Skibidi Gyatt Ohio Rizz”
8.The Blue Holy Republic of The Revolution That Has No Big BanksMoralistic Democracy“Friend”
9.The United States of FlomongaCapitalizt“The strong survive and the dumb die.”
10.The Empire of FernmarkCapitalizt“In Brother Ferns we trust”
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