by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in the South Pacific

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, the South Pacific is ranked 11,297th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Wastelands of NothreenCorporate Bordello“My way or the highway”
2.The Seafood Paradise of KohrArCorporate Police State“With oysters we thrive!”
3.The Eternal Misfortune of Pencil Sharpeners 2Compulsory Consumerist State“Stop Reading My Motto!”
4.The Kingdom of DarkmenIron Fist Consumerists“gold or lead”
5.The Armed Republic of SprinklerCorporate Police State“To rule and opress”
6.The Unwavering Love of Land With Lots of ShrimpCapitalizt“Can I trade in the children for more cash?”
7.The Please withdraw endorse me of Hong Kong Kowloon and New TerritoriesAnarchy“Make Hong Kong great again”
8.The Republic of OlongonAnarchy“You Can't Stop Progress”
9.The Red Panda Clan of SyvaniAnarchy“Force of Togetherness”
10.The Vampiric Empire of Bloody Buttered Blooming OnionsCapitalizt“I'm bad”
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