by Max Barry

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The World World Census

The Largest Furniture Restoration Industry in the World

World Census analysts spend quiet weekends in the countryside in order to determine which nations have the largest Furniture Restoration industries.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Incorporated States of UniserveIron Fist Consumerists“Our upstream provider did it!”
2.The Popsicle Pete Nation of ClenchIron Fist Consumerists“NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE!”
3.The Sadistic Republic of Bright AngelIron Fist Consumerists“Get Outa Here!!”
4.The Little Brotherhood of The Real MatrixIron Fist Consumerists“Guns. Lots of guns.”
5.The Corporate Dictatorship of JosephlandCorporate Police State“Oderint Dum Metuant”
6.The Unassuming Puppet State of AmericadCorporate Police State“An equal opportunity hate group.”
7.The Thirteen Zombie Hells of HC EredivisieIron Fist Consumerists“Worldrankings: First and last.”
8.The Oppressive Oppressors of Israeli AirstrikesCorporate Police State“Remember: We can always make it worse.”
9.The Allmighty Power of Nak nakCompulsory Consumerist State“All hail the Allmighty Nak nak!”
10.The Modern Portfolio Theory of Daedra1aCapitalist Paradise“DULCE ET DECORUM EST PRO PATRIA MORI”
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