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Treadwellia wrote:

Tubbius gasps and lightly fans at His face. Fat free? Horrors!

Truth be told, if you want to be rotund to the max, you are better off on a diet much higher in carbohydrates and sugars in general. And diet soda, as opposed to regular soda. Artificial sweeteners will trick your body into craving more food to make up for the calories it's expecting from the empty sweetness.