by Max Barry

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Region: The Coalition of Democratic Nations

THE EPHYRAL MESSENGER | Printed 15th October 2031

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Foreign feminists clash with Ephyral wives...

A non-physical altercation was dispersed by local police last night in the citizen-colony of Nerapis, Italia province. Around a dozen or so women of federate status, believed to be Italians, set up a protest in the forum marketplace of the city regarding the state of "women's rights" in the Freehold. Displaying signs of various messages including a demand for female suffrage, and criticism of the alleged "toxic masculinity" of Ephyral culture, the group were broadly ignored by citizens and federates both until one of the group approached an Ephyral woman and asked her what she thought of the "unfair and discriminatory" refusal of voting rights to women. The altercation started however when the citizen woman reacted with contempt to this accusation, allegedly retorting in the form of "the only woman who demands the right to vote is one so unattractive in character to a man she's trying to become one."

The dispute attracted a number of other citizen women, primarily married, who verbally engaged with the protesters for about fifteen minutes. Some were retrieved by their husbands, whilst others remained until local police officers, alerted by the disturbance, arrived to try and prevent the situation from escalating. It was heard that as one citizen woman departed, she shouted over her shoulder, "you [expletive] need a good [expletive]". The protesters were further inflamed as some citizen men arrived on the scene also, attempting to 'pick up' some of them.

Police dispersed the event without making any arrests, but issuing warnings to the protesters that they should "go and leave the politics to their husbands", as well as advising the citizen women to return to their daily business.

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Abroad

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Ephyral man hospitalised in Nuak...

Local news in the kingdom of Nuak made its way to the Freehold today that an Ephyral tourist has been hospitalised after being shot in the Nuakian capital of Hurlante by a local. The man, who has not been named, is understood to have been in the kingdom with a group of friends, who when questioned revealed the context to the incident. The now injured man expressed an intent to recreate in Nuak the rites of the Purification festival, a post-classical fusion of ancient Selian and Roman rites that aimed to purge excesses and purify the state. Such rites, for our foreign readers, involve sacrifice to the god Purifier (English translation) and the goddess Rhea, queen of the gods, but most infamously, a fertility rite to bring new life in which male youths of cities, towns, and villages ritually assist fertile women by striking them in a state of partial undress. Typically, a light form of whip is used for this, and Rhea in her role as the goddess of motherhood will bless these women with fertility.

In the absence of such tools, it is understood that the Ephyral citizen, whilst in one of Hurlante's public squares, decided to similarly bless the local Nuakian women with an imitation of the ritual, expressing a wish to strike their rear ends and handle their chests. Upon smacking the first Nuakian woman he came across however, the recipient of this ritual turned with a handgun pulled and fired a single shot into his shoulder.

The Ephyral foreign affairs department released a statement confirming that relevant authorities in both sides had been made aware of the situation, and that the tourist will be repatriated having undergone "sufficient punishment". The same statement also advised Ephyral visiting other countries to observe the customs and laws of their hosts, and not to imitate culturally nuanced practises in Ephyra within those countries.

Paglaum and Nordamy

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